Fighting a Losing Battle

True to the title, I got bad news today from the tumor board meeting. I was also coming in because I have been experiencing excruciating pain on my shoulder/neck area and on the left side bottom of my ribs. I rated it on a scale of 1-10 as an 8. In the hospital, they kind of made me put my pain scale to where I needed meds at 4. And knowing how much I tolerate pain-wise, this was an incredible amount of pain for me. I took some pain pills before my appointment to dull the pain, and it did to an extent. I could not sleep well and had to get out of bed early to put on two ice packs for my two hurt areas. I then went to my appointment with my nurse-practitioner to hear about the results from tumor board.

It turns out, that the ICE (aka hardcore chemo) that I had taken less than a month ago did not have much of an effect. I also found out that I am inoperable, there is no benefit for putting me in pain from surgery. Radiation will hurt my heart even more, and that is my main issue. My heart has fluid or tumor around it and in the left side of the pericardium. Basically, the surgery would be incredibly dangerous as it would be near my heart, but it would also expose other tissue that has cancer cells in it, causing them to grow into tumors. As it stands, my heart has pressure on it and will eventually not be able to pump as much blood out to the body, causing eventual organ failure. So this was not the news that I wanted to hear. I cried and cried, I swear my timing with everything is awful. I know I will be able to live to see my 21st birthday and the New Year. I still have more goals that I need to achieve before I leave the earth.

So here are my plans for the near future. My mom and I are going to fly out to San Diego on Friday because we are going to get tattoos on Saturday. Yeah, the best tattoo shop that I found was in San Diego, so that is exactly where we are going. I am going to be getting a black scorpion that I have been planning on, while my mom is getting a heart-shaped lock with two keys, representing Mark and I. Egor will be visiting us for the day that we are getting the tattoos because he is stationed there. This makes for perfect timing, because I am going to be seeing all my friends soon, luckily it is close to winter break so my out-of-state friends will be flying home. I am so excited to see DeAngela and Aly! I am going to be visiting Susette up at UC Santa Cruz and visit her during a weekday- it has been forever since I have seen that chick! Kevin lives close by so obviously that will be easy to see him. I am unsure of when Job gets home from his training, and I miss him so he better be coming back soon! I miss my crew, I know we will all get together. I am also going to be visiting my swim team at DVC next week after I have taken my day with Susette. So I will spend two days or so in the Bay Area. On Thursday, I am getting another echo cardiogram and meeting with a bunch of the oncology team to see what they can do to prolong my life as possible. Let’s be real, I still have more things to accomplish and more places to visit, as well as more people to reach out to. I am also going to be planning a Florida trip after I hear what my treatment options are. As many of you know, I LOVE Florida and it has been my dream to go to Florida Gulf Coast University and to live down there with my dad. I wanted to get a boat and have cars and constantly be tan because of the amazing weather. Bugs are not a big deal for me whatsoever, and I am sure my soon-to-be tattoo will scare them off. Luckily, we have a great family friend who is more of family than friend, who has a vacation house in Tampa that is connected to a canal and he has a boat. I love that house so much, so I am excited to visit it. I am planning on going sky-diving with Kevin in the near future. It is worth the risk. I am also planning on going to Las Vegas with Kathryn and Cheryl and my mom to eat the good food, go to the clubs, watch the shows. Kathryn and I are one day apart, I am the older one. So we both turn 21 in December, so we have been planning on having all the fun- with our moms paying for it. Hehe. They know it and they don’t mind because it will be so worth it. I will be renting a scooter thing in Vegas because I am not going to walk more than is necessary and getting out of breath. Other than these things, I need to think a little more about what my bucket list should consist of.

So with my whole dying thing, I have an idea of what it is, to die. For some, it means going to heaven, being reincarnated, etc. For me, I believe it is a lot like sleeping (and boy, do I love sleeping) and dreaming. I have had dreams where people who have died have visited me. Andrew visited me in a dream and it was real. Uncle Mike visited me in a dream and it was real. They are always happy in the dreams and I know that they are ok and that they love me. I promise that I will visit my friends’ and family’s dreams often, and it will be the real me. This is one thing that I am sure of, I will always visit and always be happy. Whenever you dream about someone who has died (who you care about) then they are watching you and are with you. I will want you to be happy in the dream, because we would both know that we care about each other. I firmly believe in this, and it makes sense to me and there is no need to worry about everything. Dreams are amazing and they are always entertaining, so I will never be bored, especially if I end up visiting in one of YOUR dreams. I will visit as often as I can, I am never going to go away for good! Let’s be honest, I think I am a pretty memorable person! Besides, I have so much knowledge about how to kill zombies and stuff, so I would be a perfect teammate for a zombie apocalypse dream.I never die in those dreams and I have to say that I am beyond legit in them. I use flamethrowers, chainsaws, and have other-worldly athletic/jumping abilities. So happy hunting ;]

Another thing I wanted to discuss is what you should get out of knowing me and what I want each and every reader to do for me, kind of as a parting gift:

  • pass on the knowledge that it is better to be happy and think of the good things in life.
  • Do not be a negative person, but if you do have to vent every once in a while, then you are more than welcome to.
  • Just do not suck up the positive energy from your friends, have all of you feed off each other and be even more positive
  • Be confident in who you are. Sure, modesty is key, but it is best for you to acknowledge how awesome you are. People love hanging out with confident people (not to be confused with cocky) and again, there goes the positive energy. Hell, I am bald and am super white from not swimming, am getting too skinny for my likes (including having the tiniest wrists known to man) yet I STILL know that I am not only attractive (I think I am pretty darn good looking actually), but I know that I am very intelligent, a good friend, and a great mother to my kitty, Panda.
  • Embrace your not-so-fantastic traits. I know that I am overly obsessed with my cat and that I would put him over having a relationship with a guy any day. I would not have it any other way. I get overly-irritated at people for no reason. I guess I am too good at showing how I feel based on my facial expressions, and annoyance is a very common one for me. I will own up to that, but I would never change it (well, I can work on it, I am not ashamed of this personality flaw). I get overstimulated by people when we are inside. Especially in my own house. Every noise bothers me (it seems that I have incredibly good hearing by the way) and I just end up shutting down completely. Outside and with a group of friends, I am perfectly fine. But sometimes I just need to have someone present, but silent. I enjoy the company of others and just them being there makes me feel happy. Words are not always needed. I feel if you are truly comfortable around someone, you can just sit and enjoy each other’s company. I have social anxiety, but who wouldn’t after being taken from one harsh reality to another? I am not as bad as I used to be, but it sometimes gets to me. I am a big flake. This is attributed by my social anxiety for the most part. Sad as that is, but my flaking is never to hurt someone, it is just my brain freaking out on me. I am also very, very, OCD about time. I need to plan everything out and bring every possible thing that we might need for an activity. But that does have a good part, that I am always on time! Hm. What other personality flaws do I have? Well, I get incredibly angry when people complain, mostly about pain or how much their life sucks. Cuz, um, no. Their life does not suck. Everything can always be worse, even in my case. Just be happy with the cards you have been given, and if you aren’t pleased with how your life is going, work on it. Nobody likes a negative Nancy, so just be positive. Also, when  people complain about pain to me on a regular basis and it is not warranted, I will give absolutely no sympathy or empathy. Sorry =P
  • Another thing, do things in your life that if you were to be dying in a month, that you would be proud of the things you have done. Would you be proud of drinking every night til you puke? Would you be proud of constantly fighting with your parents? Would you be proud if you were a bully? Accomplish great things! I am not saying a party once in a while is bad at all, quite the opposite. Have as much fun as you can, but accomplish your goals that you would be proud of sharing with everyone. Make it so that at the funeral, people could say “he worked incredibly hard in math”, “he saved me from being bullied”, “he was such a great football player and was dedicated to the sport”, “he was such a nice guy and no one can say anything bad about him”, “whenever we had problems, we were always able to talk things out and stop fighting”, “he was the best big brother that anyone could ask for”, “he was the best son anyone could ask for”, “he was my best employee, he always helped the customers in a friendly manner and was never late to work”, “he helped out with the community so much, it made a difference in people’s lives”. Life is all about the choices you make, so make the right choice. Make the choice to stand up to a bully, work extra hard in practice, be dedicated to your boyfriend/girlfriend and treat them well, learn how to play that instrument that you have always dreamed about, go the extra distance for a friend in need, be kind to your family, be appreciative of your teachers, do something that makes you happy- cooking, dancing, a new hobby. Play videogames, but also have another hobby that is a little more tangible (sport, job, instrument, help around the house without being asked). I really don’t think any of these things are boring. I always thought it would be fun to learn a new language- I know a few words in Japanese, Russian, and Spanish, but that is about where it goes. Save up your money and go to the concert of your dreams or go take a dream vacation. Set goals and achieve them. Make sure you are happy. I know that I set a lot of goals for myself, and I do achieve them. My best example by far is that I qualified as an All American without my full lung function and cancer already in my body- without even swimming in state! Make reachable, but difficult goals and they will taste all the sweeter when you accomplish them. I promise!
  • Of course, I cannot express this enough, be a good friend and surround yourself with people who are also good friends. Talk things out if there are ever any problems (which, chances are, will happen) and see things from the other person’s point of view. I swear it works and you get a better understanding of your friend and how they tick. If someone does something incredibly deceitful and wrong to you, drop that friend because they are no friend to you. Do not worry about popularity, don’t hang out with a bunch of people who you hate and who hate you back just to be in the in-crowd. It is so not worth it. In the end, popularity gets you nowhere. Being nice actually does. People will want to be around you more and will be nice to you back. Don’t be a kiss-ass, just be genuine and nice. It will make your life so much easier and so much more enjoyable when you spend it with people you care about and who care about you right back. Also, compliment your friends when you truly feel like they deserve a compliment. It is as easy as telling them that they are such a good friend and you are glad that you have met them, to saying that they are attractive , smart, etc. Especially when a friend is down, be nice to them and cheer them up by trying to make them laugh. (One of my catch-phrases from high school swim that I still use today is, “It’s a little nipply outside!”, joking about how when you are in a swimsuit and it is cold outside, your nipples get obviously hard. I also stick out my index fingers and pretend that they are my nipples. It never ceases to make people laugh, and trust me, having the sticking out nipples is a little awkward and embarrassing, but by making a joke about it makes everyone more comfortable about themselves)
  • Another thing that I cannot stress enough, is: stay away from the drama llamas. Seriously, though. They just drag you down and it gets old very fast. This reminds me of the couples that are always extremely public in their constant breakups and makeups. Or if you have Twitter beef with someone- how immature can you be? If you have an issue with someone or someone has an issue with you, plain and simply grow some balls and talk it out. That is not only the easiest, but the best way to solve any problems or any misunderstandings. Social media is no way to air your dirty laundry pretty much every day. It is annoying and draining trying to figure out if people are dating or not dating if they have public breakups and fights publicized. Like, seriously, it makes them sound so immature and so dramatic. If you breakup and makeup every other day and make a big deal about it, chances are that you are not meant for each other. You may love one another very much, but you can never be truly happy if the relationship flip flops so much. As much as I have pretty much no experience dating, I have seen my friends and others enough so that I have a pretty darn clear view of things. Sure, my longest relationship was 3 months when I was a senior in high school. Sure, the most recent guy I dated only lasted 3 weeks (horrible timing, really, that’s the story of my life). However, since I have a good self-worth and I know who I am and what I want in a guy, the last guy I dated and I got along perfectly. We would communicate and were honest with each other about everything, he even asked me questions about “periods” in general, because he was genuinely curious and felt comfortable asking me about this very uncomfortable subject. That is how I feel relationships should be, about communication and understanding (well, as a base, other things are needed of course). So please, stop with the Facebook, Twitter, even real life drama. It is a big waste of time and energy that could be spent having fun and being happy. Just let it sink in and think about it. You will end up agreeing with me.
  • Another thing, do not be judgmental of people so easily. Yeah, a first impression is needed and we always judge by what we see, but there is normally more substance to a person than just the outside. Give someone a chance to be your friend, do not decide that they are not “cool” enough for you if you haven’t even spent time with them. If you do talk to them for a little while and THEN decide that you two do not click as friends, then that is perfectly fine. It is definitely a “don’t judge a book by its cover” situation, but I don’t expect you to not judge them by the outward appearance. Hell, I do. I judge people on the clothes they wear, their eyebrows, and their teeth. Oh, and shoulders (it’s a swimmer thing). But that does not mean that I will outcast someone if they do not look like my ideal person. Normally you end up finding things in common and that this, maybe strange looking person, really is awesome and you share a lot of the same interests. Just food for thought!
  • Um, if I haven’t already said this, be grateful for what you have. Sure, things could be better, but they could also be worse. Be grateful that you have pretty eyes, that you have an amazing pet, that you have good looking legs, that you are smart, that you can write poems, that you are athletic, that you have a normal family bond, that you have great friends, that you are alive. That is the biggest thing, be happy that you are alive and well (maybe not in perfect health, but you are indeed alive if you are reading my blog). That is what I ask of you.

I am sure that I will think of other things that I need to add to this list of “Lauren Lessons” that I have already. You can learn a lot from people who have gone through hardships and kept their heads up. You can learn a lot from your parents, grandparents, and even friends. So please read and really let what I have said sink in and take it to heart. And mostly, be happy. That is the best feeling in the world. So do things that make you happy, be with people who make you happy, be happy with yourself.

I will keep you guys updated on everything that is going on, and my breathing is fine and I can walk. I am not a goner just yet! (I feel like it will be a long while before anything gets super critical in my health) So if you could, as much as I do not believe in God, but I do believe in the power of wishful thinking and the power of prayers. So if you could please, please hope, pray, wish, have good thoughts about me, anything that can help. I would really appreciate it. I need all the support I can get.

Oh, and if you could please forward my blog to all of your friends, family, teammates, coworkers, etc that would be great. I am trying to reach out and touch as many people as possible. I would love to share my knowledge, my battle, and my thoughts with as many people as I can. I need the public to be aware that childhood cancer is deadly and honestly, there are never as good of cure rates because it is hard to do a clinical trial on a child. I am at that awkward stage, but I do have pediatric cancer. Please spread the word about pediatric cancer and my blog. I also have about 500 business cards with my name, email address, my slogan “Raising Awareness. Changing Perspectives.”, my blog (, my phone number, and another message that states, “Talk about it. Make Childhood Cancer a household name.” I would really appreciate it if some of my friends/ acquaintances could get a few from me and hand them out to people who would actually read about it and spread the word. I want Pediatric Cancer to have a name as big as Breast Cancer Awareness Month (Childhood Cancer Awareness Month is actually in September, but guaranteed no  one knew anything about it, and our ribbon is gold by the way, my specific one for sarcoma is yellow) so that the research and funding is given to where it needs to be put the most- into the world’s future, the kids.

So I am done for now, I need to go to bed and change, because I am sooo hot and sweaty with a blanket covering my legs, on top of that blanket is my equally hot laptop, and I am wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt. Yeah, it is time for me to go.

Here is my contact information:

Lauren McCullough

@facebook: laurenmccullough2

@twitter: swimchickLM

@instagram: swimchicklauren

@vine: swimchicklauren


My First Summer Vacation! ( unless you count my weekly stays at the hospital)

I guess I have a lot to catch up on in these past two weeks to fill everyone in on how my life has been! Seeing that I stopped after I announced that I would be visiting my “husband” in the Navy in San Diego. Well, I went! It was an awesome trip to say the least. I drove up there with DeAngela and my brother Mark. We first stopped by Egor’s house so that his mom would give us some homemade Russian pastry- the outside looked and tasted kind of like a donut while the middle of it had lamb and cilantro. Needless to say, it was delicious! Once we said our goodbyes to Egor’s parents, Mark started out driving. As anyone who has driven with me recently knows, I am extremely anal about how others drive. I am by far the worst back-seat driver you will ever find. It happened very abruptly to me, and suddenly I get more nervous when people drive. Then again, I really am not used to being around people as much as I have been in the past. Somehow, I think I just need to learn how to behave around people again- something I never thought I would have to do, considering that I am judgmental of how I act. I think something just kind of clicked this time in my head, making me scared of potentially getting in an accident and dying. I think it is something that is subconscious in my brain that just makes me nervous when other people drive. So, yes, I do order around people when they drive instead of me.

Ok, so after four hours of driving, Mark and I decided that he would pull into a Jack In The Box so we could get some food in our starving tummies and so that I could take over driving for the last four hours of the trip. And boy was I wrong when I thought the drive was only going to take 8 hours. It took 9-10 hours to finally get to the Navy base in Point Loma. I blame LA for all of that traffic, boy, it was miserable! I decided right then and there that I would never live there. (If so I would need to have a chauffeur because there is no way I would have the patience to drive there myself). But luckily, we did get to San Diego all in one piece, and only had to fill up once- but I am very sure that my amazing 2012 Honda Accord (Helga) would be able to make it there without having to fill up. That was extremely convenient so we did not have to waste any of our time driving and could spend it on visiting. We did have a few navigational issues, but we did get there nevertheless.

We met Egor and Aiyanna, his girlfriend, at the Starbucks across the street from the Naval Base. I will be honest, I was a little mad to see that he had brought her with him right away, I was hoping we (DeAngela, Egor, and I) would be able to hang out by ourselves the first day, but that didn’t happen. But, I was pleasantly surprised when I met Aiyanna. I found out that she is actually really pretty- she just isn’t the most photogenic in the pictures of her (yes I stalk people, that is normal and necessary lol). She also was in shape and very down to earth, so I was happy that Egor had picked such a nice girl.

We were told to follow behind Egor to get onto the Naval Base because of security reasons. When we all got in, we went to the lobby to get our room. By the way, it was $59 a night for a 2-room, 1-bathroom. The bathroom had so much space!!! It had one sink at either end of the bathroom, and had mirrors for each sink, it was all so nice. Now there was only one bed, so Mark had to sleep on the couch. He was under the impression that the couch was a futon, but that was not the case. So I gave him one of our many extra pillows and gave him a blanket that was originally on the foot of Dee’s and my bed. The bed that Dee and I got to sleep in the whole time was an amazing queen sized bed, which was perfect because we never ended up kicking or hitting each other during the night, even though I apparently have an evil laugh in my sleep and play with my hair. I believe it too! Lately I have been sleeping with my mouth open, so it is very possible that I talk and make weird noises, I do normally wake up from them though, when I am in the car. Oh, and this bed was literally the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in! I really need to see what mattress they use, because I would fall asleep a lot faster in one of those!

So once we figured out our room, put stuff in the refrigerator, opened our windows to let the heat out, found there was no thermostat in the room at all, our group  needed to figure out what we should eat for dinner. I was really craving agedashi tofu (deep-fried tofu) and sushi, so I heavily suggested that we go to a hibachi bar. We chose one that was only a few miles away and that was not super expensive, even though I was tempted to go to Benihana’s, I was responsible for feeding Mark and DeAngela, so that would come up to be way too expensive. But we all did enjoy our stay at the hibachi bar/grill. We did not have seats up at the grill because the wait would be too long, so we got a nice booth for the five of us. Tons of sushi was ordered, rice was ordered, miso soup was ordered, and my brother ordered the only thing he would eat on the menu- steak. And even though I had tons of food leftover, I ordered chocolate mochi ice cream. It was pretty darn good! Aiyanna was not too happy with it, she was confused about the mochi and did not like the feeling of it. I was happy eating it though! So once we paid our bill, we were driven back to the hotel by Egor. I offered my car for all of us to use during the trip because not only does it get great gas mileage, it also has enough room for all five of us. I let Egor drive my car because I trust him with my life, and know that he is a competent driver and he knows the area better than I do by far!

We then got ready to go to this country club called Stampede, where we would spend the rest of our night. Well, we got there at 11pm and left at probably 12:30am because we were all getting tired (especially me!) and Mark was moping around, and not to mention that the line dancing ended up getting harder and harder up to the point that I could no longer go with the flow and try to copy the dance moves of the experienced line-dancers. 

On our way back, only Egor and I were awake. Clearly, they were all pooped. I was not going to fall asleep because I never let the driver be the only one awake at night- I feel the need to keep them occupied so they don’t get too tired. So we talked and kinda caught up some more, which was really nice. I hadn’t seen my best friend in like a month! But (SPOILER ALERT!) Egor and Aiyanna are going to be visiting Elk Grove for a weekend next week. I am so excited, and by talking on the phone with Egor’s mother, Irina, she is extremely excited that he is going to visit as well.

We had a late start to the day on Saturday. We had to sleep off the dancing and all of the time spent in the car. Our plan was to go to the beach, because we all know I need my sun, especially since I am not really able to swim anymore. We left at around 2 to go to the beach, and to our dismay, there were no parking spots whatsoever. So Egor ended up dropping of Dee and Mark and I so we could get a spot. He and Aiyanna would be driving together to try to find a spot. We had no idea how long they would take- and boy, did they take forever. We all sat on the beach tanning for maybe 30 minutes before I decided that DeAngela and I should go check out the beach shops. And boy, did I score!!! I got this adorable bright pink tummy-showing shirt, a cute beach hat to make sure I don’t get sunburnt, a cute pair of earrings, a mug for my mom, a shirt for my dad, a shirt for me, a shirt for my brother, a shirt for Dee, some lime coconut patties, and my first lighter. Everything was so amazing and so cheap, I could never get bored in San Diego!!! Eventually Egor called us and told us to meet him outside the store, so then we made our way back to the beach. A few minutes after that, three of Egor’s friends came to join us. I had just met them prior to us leaving to the beach, so it is not like we were true strangers. The guys played football for a while before heading out into the water. I am not a fan of cold water to say the least, so I only went down to about my mid thighs. Everyone except for Egor’s friends went farther than I did, so I ended up getting to know these fellow military men. They were all so nice and funny! I did not feel awkward around them at all, and one of the guys was pretty darn cute to me… He was wearing glasses, had a Florida tattoo, and happened to come from Florida- which is awesome to me! I love Florida more than any other state, so I was a little jealous.

Eventually we all left the beach because it was getting cold. We all stopped to get something to eat for dinner. I ended up going to Panera Bread and got some pasta and a really nasty lemon orzo soup. Gross. Once we returned to the hotel room, everyone took a shower and was ready for a relaxing movie night. Egor brought over his PS3 so we could watch movies in the crazy big screen in our room. We first started with The Evil Dead (my request!) and then Dark Skies (which I had already seen). By the end of Dark Skies, Aiyanna and DeAngela were passed out. So Egor took her to her dorm and then came back to finish the movie. Once it was done, we all went to bed.

I was extremely tired the next day (Sunday) and I decided to stay in the hotel while the others went rock wall climbing. Yeah, my little muscles would be so pooped that I would fall asleep on the floor after it! I made the right choice, because I wanted to be well-rested before going out and walking around Old Town San Diego. It was full of Mexican heritage, which was actually really cool! I got a cool scorpion necklace to put on my mirror on my car, a cute bobbly turtle which reminds me of the ones I had when I was little. I also got my dad another shirt, it was such a good looking shirt. We all walked around the town and saw many booths and cool stores, as well as beautiful restaurants. We sat down at a cute restaurant and chose to sit inside, as it was getting a little chilly and windy outside. Or as I put it, nipply. (my swim teams would so get it). We all ordered enchiladas while my brother ordered tacos. I was not pleased with my enchilada at all, as it tasted pretty sour, and I made that same dish when I was a freshman in high school and executed it much better! But the service was absolutely spectacular!! Our waiter was so nice and always made sure that our glasses were full. And at the end of the dinner, he took off everyone’s’ drink orders off their bills. He said that he never makes those in the military pay for their drinks. I thought that it was so nice, and he was actually sincerely nice, unlike those who are being fake about it. So that was nice!

We then went back to our hotel room and watched some tv for a long while, and then Aiyanna and Egor left so we could all get some sleep because I wanted us to leave at either 8 or 9 sharp in the morning. I really did not want to get into the traffic from last time! So we all had to say goodbye to each other, even though I will be seeing them in another weekend, but we just had a great mini-vacation. It was much needed! 

I started out driving (after I got starbucks) and only drove for two hours until I was so tired that I could hardly even keep my eyes open, so I had Mark take over the wheel. Eventually, after a long while at the wheel, we went to a McDonald’s so we could fuel up and go to the bathroom. And there was the rudest Asian lady ever there. Like, ever. She would always push by people and not say excuse me or apologize, and she was blocking the entrance to the door in the beginning because she did not know what the hell she was doing. After all the eating was done, I had to ask Mark to continue on driving because I was shaking all over. This was probably due to morphine, or lack there of. Either way, he was not a happy camper, but there was nothing he could do about it. We dropped DeAngela off and then went home. 

I will be honest, I did absolutely nothing during the week I got back from my vacation, I needed to rest from all of the activities that we had done.

However, it was one of my swim friend Matt’s 23rd birthday, and I was invited to go, so I had to go especially considering how many other swim friends would be there. I was soo excited to be going, because, I will be honest, I never get to see them anymore and I miss them. But that night was so much fun! Got to see a lot of the swimmers, played water pong and miserably lost (I did get two cups though!) and just kind of hung out and talked to my friends who I haven’t seen in a while, and I was so used to seeing them every day. I finally got to catch up with Katie, as she moved to Florida with her husband, and I needed to be filled in on the details of moving and living in Florida. I also got to catch up with Blake, who was unable to go to my wedding as he was in Chicago. I also got to see Dom, Michael Billey, Shannon (my bp partner), Erin, Ella, Aly, Charlie, Colette, Julio, and Cheyenne. We all went inside so that water pong could be played much more easily. Luckily for me, I reminded Steven to come to the party, and he came, much to everyone’s delight! We ended up having a really deep conversation, and I will be honest, I have not had one of those in a really long time, it was nice! Then we all went back inside (we were just chatting in my car) to join the rest of the group. After a while, it started dwindling down, and the people who stayed ended up watching the worst SciFi movie I had ever seen. The graphics were god-awful. The Yeti thing was basically looking like a sorry excuse for a yeti- it had the body of a big gorilla and had the face of a rat, with horns of mountain rams. It was so ridiculous, but we just had to see what happened in the end! So once that was done (at 3am) I drove back home. I was craving some Wendy’s, but found out it was closed. Then I found out there are no 24 hour fast food restaurants anywhere near my house- and there was no way I was going to go to Wendy’s. I ended up scrounging for food at my Grandparent’s house. I stayed with them and chatted for about an hour before I hit the road to go back to my mom’s house, I was not going to deal with traffic, and I did not.

So basically all of this week I haven’t been doing anything, but I will go out and walk my dog tomorrow and hopefully cook something nice… I need my exercise and one of my dogs needs it too.

So it is pretty darn late, so I am going to leave you with some pictures!





ImageImageImageMy chemo drink sucks!Image