Incredibly Bad News

Well, on Wednesday of June 12 I was feeling a lot of pain and pressure while breathing. I knew that I had to go to the hospital so I asked my best friend DeAngela instead of my parents to take me because I knew they would appreciate sleeping in their own beds for the night. Little did I know that I would be hearing my prognosis the next morning.

6 months. That’s all that I was given to live.I had originally thought that I would beat this disease just as I had done in the past, but fate had another thing coming for me. The chemo did not make my tumors react at all, in fact they had gotten to be bigger and the lining of my lungs were now not really full of fluid, it was more full of the tumor itself. So now draining my lungs is just not an option when it comes to relieving the pressure from my lungs and making it easier to breathe. I will be given 10 radiation treatments to help my breathing and prolong my life. Unfortunately, the treatment for me is just to keep myself more comfortable and live as long as it allows.

Subsequently, I was given a CT scan to further scope out what I am dealing with. Now I am all about going against the prognosis and staying strong- but what I found out next was heartbreaking, I was now given only three weeks to three months to live. This took a huge toll on me both physically and mentally. I had to really think about the bucket list plans that I made earlier. I can no longer fly anywhere and cannot go skydiving. So my thoughts went to getting married. I had the perfect groom in mind, which kind of makes me feel like a creeper, but he is one best for over four years. Egor is also pretty darn attractive if you were to ask just about anyone. And he is a guy who said he would go across the world for me, luckily he only has to go about 7 hours by car to get me.

On the other side of things, I am very unsure of how my family and friends are taking the news. I haven’t even told most of my friends that I only have 3 weeks to 3 months to live. So when I finally post this to my facebook account it will cause quite a stir. I want to be an example for them to live life to the fullest, and that I will block the shit out of them if they dare post a status stating how awful their life is or how their life sucks. I cannot stand the negativity about some people. You just need to think about the positives in life and live by them- no matter how long you have left to live.