Letting Reality Sink in (For the First Time)

Kevin taking funny pictures of me while I sleep

Kevin taking funny pictures of me while I sleep

I guess my sadness is coming through right now because of how scared I am that the doctors cannot surgically remove any tumors because the lining of my lungs, or the pleural cavity, it is very unusual. I have to ask my doctors if indeed I can still go through with radiation because it seriously works with my type of cancer. I keep on thinking about the things I would like to accomplish before I die or get rediagnosed… I am trying not to keep my hopes up to be disappointed, so I will do everything in my power to have a fun and active life.

Today I was visited by my best friend Kevin in the hospital for my outpatient chemo, and of course was in tow with my other bff DeAngela who is taking care of me while she is having summer break. My mom is paying her for the work, considering it takes just about eight hours to get to and from my house (including my chemo). We hung out with my chemo buddy Andrew, as he has the exact same cancer as I do and is only a year younger than I am, and it sure is nice to talk to someone who is going through the same difficulties and compare side effects.

Once I got my Ativan for the start of my chemo I fell asleep and attempted to watch some of the new Batman movie with DeAngela and Kevin, but with no luck. Then again, I would rather be sleeping than feeling nauseous. Today, unfortunately, I am nauseous for the first time and am not in a very fantastic mood. I can only hope that I feel better tomorrow and will be able to start the day off fresh. As long as my cat decides to sleep with me and not be hyperactive, I will immediately feel better.

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