My First Summer Vacation! ( unless you count my weekly stays at the hospital)

Posted by swimchicklauren

I guess I have a lot to catch up on in these past two weeks to fill everyone in on how my life has been! Seeing that I stopped after I announced that I would be visiting my “husband” in the Navy in San Diego. Well, I went! It was an awesome trip to say the least. I drove up there with DeAngela and my brother Mark. We first stopped by Egor’s house so that his mom would give us some homemade Russian pastry- the outside looked and tasted kind of like a donut while the middle of it had lamb and cilantro. Needless to say, it was delicious! Once we said our goodbyes to Egor’s parents, Mark started out driving. As anyone who has driven with me recently knows, I am extremely anal about how others drive. I am by far the worst back-seat driver you will ever find. It happened very abruptly to me, and suddenly I get more nervous when people drive. Then again, I really am not used to being around people as much as I have been in the past. Somehow, I think I just need to learn how to behave around people again- something I never thought I would have to do, considering that I am judgmental of how I act. I think something just kind of clicked this time in my head, making me scared of potentially getting in an accident and dying. I think it is something that is subconscious in my brain that just makes me nervous when other people drive. So, yes, I do order around people when they drive instead of me.

Ok, so after four hours of driving, Mark and I decided that he would pull into a Jack In The Box so we could get some food in our starving tummies and so that I could take over driving for the last four hours of the trip. And boy was I wrong when I thought the drive was only going to take 8 hours. It took 9-10 hours to finally get to the Navy base in Point Loma. I blame LA for all of that traffic, boy, it was miserable! I decided right then and there that I would never live there. (If so I would need to have a chauffeur because there is no way I would have the patience to drive there myself). But luckily, we did get to San Diego all in one piece, and only had to fill up once- but I am very sure that my amazing 2012 Honda Accord (Helga) would be able to make it there without having to fill up. That was extremely convenient so we did not have to waste any of our time driving and could spend it on visiting. We did have a few navigational issues, but we did get there nevertheless.

We met Egor and Aiyanna, his girlfriend, at the Starbucks across the street from the Naval Base. I will be honest, I was a little mad to see that he had brought her with him right away, I was hoping we (DeAngela, Egor, and I) would be able to hang out by ourselves the first day, but that didn’t happen. But, I was pleasantly surprised when I met Aiyanna. I found out that she is actually really pretty- she just isn’t the most photogenic in the pictures of her (yes I stalk people, that is normal and necessary lol). She also was in shape and very down to earth, so I was happy that Egor had picked such a nice girl.

We were told to follow behind Egor to get onto the Naval Base because of security reasons. When we all got in, we went to the lobby to get our room. By the way, it was $59 a night for a 2-room, 1-bathroom. The bathroom had so much space!!! It had one sink at either end of the bathroom, and had mirrors for each sink, it was all so nice. Now there was only one bed, so Mark had to sleep on the couch. He was under the impression that the couch was a futon, but that was not the case. So I gave him one of our many extra pillows and gave him a blanket that was originally on the foot of Dee’s and my bed. The bed that Dee and I got to sleep in the whole time was an amazing queen sized bed, which was perfect because we never ended up kicking or hitting each other during the night, even though I apparently have an evil laugh in my sleep and play with my hair. I believe it too! Lately I have been sleeping with my mouth open, so it is very possible that I talk and make weird noises, I do normally wake up from them though, when I am in the car. Oh, and this bed was literally the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in! I really need to see what mattress they use, because I would fall asleep a lot faster in one of those!

So once we figured out our room, put stuff in the refrigerator, opened our windows to let the heat out, found there was no thermostat in the room at all, our group needed to figure out what we should eat for dinner. I was really craving agedashi tofu (deep-fried tofu) and sushi, so I heavily suggested that we go to a hibachi bar. We chose one that was only a few miles away and that was not super expensive, even though I was tempted to go to Benihana’s, I was responsible for feeding Mark and DeAngela, so that would come up to be way too expensive. But we all did enjoy our stay at the hibachi bar/grill. We did not have seats up at the grill because the wait would be too long, so we got a nice booth for the five of us. Tons of sushi was ordered, rice was ordered, miso soup was ordered, and my brother ordered the only thing he would eat on the menu- steak. And even though I had tons of food leftover, I ordered chocolate mochi ice cream. It was pretty darn good! Aiyanna was not too happy with it, she was confused about the mochi and did not like the feeling of it. I was happy eating it though! So once we paid our bill, we were driven back to the hotel by Egor. I offered my car for all of us to use during the trip because not only does it get great gas mileage, it also has enough room for all five of us. I let Egor drive my car because I trust him with my life, and know that he is a competent driver and he knows the area better than I do by far!

We then got ready to go to this country club called Stampede, where we would spend the rest of our night. Well, we got there at 11pm and left at probably 12:30am because we were all getting tired (especially me!) and Mark was moping around, and not to mention that the line dancing ended up getting harder and harder up to the point that I could no longer go with the flow and try to copy the dance moves of the experienced line-dancers.

On our way back, only Egor and I were awake. Clearly, they were all pooped. I was not going to fall asleep because I never let the driver be the only one awake at night- I feel the need to keep them occupied so they don’t get too tired. So we talked and kinda caught up some more, which was really nice. I hadn’t seen my best friend in like a month! But (SPOILER ALERT!) Egor and Aiyanna are going to be visiting Elk Grove for a weekend next week. I am so excited, and by talking on the phone with Egor’s mother, Irina, she is extremely excited that he is going to visit as well.

We had a late start to the day on Saturday. We had to sleep off the dancing and all of the time spent in the car. Our plan was to go to the beach, because we all know I need my sun, especially since I am not really able to swim anymore. We left at around 2 to go to the beach, and to our dismay, there were no parking spots whatsoever. So Egor ended up dropping of Dee and Mark and I so we could get a spot. He and Aiyanna would be driving together to try to find a spot. We had no idea how long they would take- and boy, did they take forever. We all sat on the beach tanning for maybe 30 minutes before I decided that DeAngela and I should go check out the beach shops. And boy, did I score!!! I got this adorable bright pink tummy-showing shirt, a cute beach hat to make sure I don’t get sunburnt, a cute pair of earrings, a mug for my mom, a shirt for my dad, a shirt for me, a shirt for my brother, a shirt for Dee, some lime coconut patties, and my first lighter. Everything was so amazing and so cheap, I could never get bored in San Diego!!! Eventually Egor called us and told us to meet him outside the store, so then we made our way back to the beach. A few minutes after that, three of Egor’s friends came to join us. I had just met them prior to us leaving to the beach, so it is not like we were true strangers. The guys played football for a while before heading out into the water. I am not a fan of cold water to say the least, so I only went down to about my mid thighs. Everyone except for Egor’s friends went farther than I did, so I ended up getting to know these fellow military men. They were all so nice and funny! I did not feel awkward around them at all, and one of the guys was pretty darn cute to me… He was wearing glasses, had a Florida tattoo, and happened to come from Florida- which is awesome to me! I love Florida more than any other state, so I was a little jealous.

Eventually we all left the beach because it was getting cold. We all stopped to get something to eat for dinner. I ended up going to Panera Bread and got some pasta and a really nasty lemon orzo soup. Gross. Once we returned to the hotel room, everyone took a shower and was ready for a relaxing movie night. Egor brought over his PS3 so we could watch movies in the crazy big screen in our room. We first started with The Evil Dead (my request!) and then Dark Skies (which I had already seen). By the end of Dark Skies, Aiyanna and DeAngela were passed out. So Egor took her to her dorm and then came back to finish the movie. Once it was done, we all went to bed.

I was extremely tired the next day (Sunday) and I decided to stay in the hotel while the others went rock wall climbing. Yeah, my little muscles would be so pooped that I would fall asleep on the floor after it! I made the right choice, because I wanted to be well-rested before going out and walking around Old Town San Diego. It was full of Mexican heritage, which was actually really cool! I got a cool scorpion necklace to put on my mirror on my car, a cute bobbly turtle which reminds me of the ones I had when I was little. I also got my dad another shirt, it was such a good looking shirt. We all walked around the town and saw many booths and cool stores, as well as beautiful restaurants. We sat down at a cute restaurant and chose to sit inside, as it was getting a little chilly and windy outside. Or as I put it, nipply. (my swim teams would so get it). We all ordered enchiladas while my brother ordered tacos. I was not pleased with my enchilada at all, as it tasted pretty sour, and I made that same dish when I was a freshman in high school and executed it much better! But the service was absolutely spectacular!! Our waiter was so nice and always made sure that our glasses were full. And at the end of the dinner, he took off everyone’s’ drink orders off their bills. He said that he never makes those in the military pay for their drinks. I thought that it was so nice, and he was actually sincerely nice, unlike those who are being fake about it. So that was nice!

We then went back to our hotel room and watched some tv for a long while, and then Aiyanna and Egor left so we could all get some sleep because I wanted us to leave at either 8 or 9 sharp in the morning. I really did not want to get into the traffic from last time! So we all had to say goodbye to each other, even though I will be seeing them in another weekend, but we just had a great mini-vacation. It was much needed!

I started out driving (after I got starbucks) and only drove for two hours until I was so tired that I could hardly even keep my eyes open, so I had Mark take over the wheel. Eventually, after a long while at the wheel, we went to a McDonald’s so we could fuel up and go to the bathroom. And there was the rudest Asian lady ever there. Like, ever. She would always push by people and not say excuse me or apologize, and she was blocking the entrance to the door in the beginning because she did not know what the hell she was doing. After all the eating was done, I had to ask Mark to continue on driving because I was shaking all over. This was probably due to morphine, or lack there of. Either way, he was not a happy camper, but there was nothing he could do about it. We dropped DeAngela off and then went home.

I will be honest, I did absolutely nothing during the week I got back from my vacation, I needed to rest from all of the activities that we had done.

However, it was one of my swim friend Matt’s 23rd birthday, and I was invited to go, so I had to go especially considering how many other swim friends would be there. I was soo excited to be going, because, I will be honest, I never get to see them anymore and I miss them. But that night was so much fun! Got to see a lot of the swimmers, played water pong and miserably lost (I did get two cups though!) and just kind of hung out and talked to my friends who I haven’t seen in a while, and I was so used to seeing them every day. I finally got to catch up with Katie, as she moved to Florida with her husband, and I needed to be filled in on the details of moving and living in Florida. I also got to catch up with Blake, who was unable to go to my wedding as he was in Chicago. I also got to see Dom, Michael Billey, Shannon (my bp partner), Erin, Ella, Aly, Charlie, Colette, Julio, and Cheyenne. We all went inside so that water pong could be played much more easily. Luckily for me, I reminded Steven to come to the party, and he came, much to everyone’s delight! We ended up having a really deep conversation, and I will be honest, I have not had one of those in a really long time, it was nice! Then we all went back inside (we were just chatting in my car) to join the rest of the group. After a while, it started dwindling down, and the people who stayed ended up watching the worst SciFi movie I had ever seen. The graphics were god-awful. The Yeti thing was basically looking like a sorry excuse for a yeti- it had the body of a big gorilla and had the face of a rat, with horns of mountain rams. It was so ridiculous, but we just had to see what happened in the end! So once that was done (at 3am) I drove back home. I was craving some Wendy’s, but found out it was closed. Then I found out there are no 24 hour fast food restaurants anywhere near my house- and there was no way I was going to go to Wendy’s. I ended up scrounging for food at my Grandparent’s house. I stayed with them and chatted for about an hour before I hit the road to go back to my mom’s house, I was not going to deal with traffic, and I did not.

So basically all of this week I haven’t been doing anything, but I will go out and walk my dog tomorrow and hopefully cook something nice… I need my exercise and one of my dogs needs it too.

So it is pretty darn late, so I am going to leave you with some pictures!

My chemo drink sucks!

As Summer is Winding Down…

Posted by swimchicklauren

So in case some of you were wondering why it has taken me a while to post another blog, I was not feeling well at all due to radiation- yes, radiation again. This time it was about my throat being raw and burnt over and over again through my 10 rounds of radiation. Literally swallowing my own spit was excruciatingly painful, so imagine how bad drinking anything, taking pills, and eating felt. It was miserable. I was prescribed some “Magic Mouthwash” to numb my mouth and throat, however it literally lasted two minutes and was not a very good relief for me at all, I still was hardly eating and drinking, and pills were so painful. I had to admit to my case manager at Kaiser that the medicine was not working at all and literally an hour later, she came back from a meeting and called me telling me that one of my oncologists put in an order for liquid morphine, and that it would be ready to pick up. Much to my relief, the liquid morphine worked pretty much right away. My parents could tell that I was feeling so much better and that I was happy to be able to eat mushy food, such as mashed potatoes, with more ease and less pain than I was in previously.

Last Sunday, one of my friends offered to get me a photoshoot to help me with my bucket list. Danielle King, my friend, is also a model so she had no problem finding people willing to take a part of my journey. Shelly Charshaf Lange,Gabriela Michanie, Laurie Hunt Theriault, Robin Hagy and Jennifer DuVoe were my photographers and Melissa Vandemark did my makeup. I have to say, I had so much fun getting all dolled up for the photoshoot, as the only other time I had a real photoshoot was at my wedding. I modeled in three different outfits, my first being an animal print nightgown. I felt so pretty in it, and took some amazing pictures on an outside bed (yes, it was pretty epic and I was jealous of the backyard where we were shooting) and on a couch that was outside. Oh, and did I mention that DeAngela came with me and also got to do some modeling with me for best friend pictures? Yeah, that made it even more fun! My second outfit was a maxi dress, which fit me really well. I took some pictures on stairs, on a cute swing, and standing with DeAngela. My favorite part of the shoot by far was being in the pool modeling. Naturally, being a swimmer, I feel the most comfortable in the water. I also feel confident in the water and I know how my body moves in the water and how to manipulate it well. What made the shoot unique was that I was in the pool working with a sheer netting that looked gorgeous in the water. It was such a boost of confidence seeing my pictures!

Oh, and I guess I got a little ahead of myself. On the Saturday (not this weekend, but last weekend), I went floating with my friend Micaela from my Roots of Hell class at DVC. It was really ironic that she would be spending quite a bit of time in Sacramento when we both were going to school in the Concord area. I was originally going to meet up with one of my friends, Jacob, from my high school swim team, but I did not communicate with him that I would be making it to his 22nd birthday celebration on the river. I got to the raft rental place and met up with Micaela, and could not find my friends anywhere, so we were going to rent a raft ourselves and float anyways. What we were not prepared for was the price of renting a raft. It was $60 for a 4-person raft, along with a $100 deposit for the raft. Now, we were not going to pay that much to rent a raft for just two people, not to mention that we would not be able to carry it all the way down to the river. We were wandering around the start of the river for a good thirty minutes trying to figure out what to do. And I am sure that you readers know I have a sense of adventure, due to my multiple lectures about my jumping off the patio stunt, so it should come to no surprise to you that I jumped off of a 20 foot bridge into the river. Yeah, I am pretty savage. I only had a little trouble with the current because I had flip flops still on and had to get them with my hands to swim well. A little while after, I was a little more dry and still in my bikini, I decided that we just had to ask to get a ride with someone on their rafts. Micaela was a little too shy to do the asking, so I proposed that we ask this one group that looked like they had plenty of rafts and could fit two petite girls. Micaela was unsure because the guys were “hot” (and I would agree, quite a few of them were pretty attractive) but I asked them anyways. The guys said it was not up to them, but to another guy, so I had to wait about a minute until the guy came around, and I asked him, and of course he said yes. I mean, Micaela and I are cute with lean bodies, so I figured they wouldn’t mind us riding with them. There were literally 9 guys in the group with just us two girls. I was not intimidated at all because I can always get to chatting no problem, the hardest part for me is first approaching someone. Turns out that some of the guys graduated the same class as I did, but from different schools in Sacramento, and some of the guys had already finished college, so they were in the perfect, college-aged group for us to find. We floated with them for literally 5 hours. I only got annoyed with one of the guys, and he was pretty much white-boy-wasted. He was hitting on Micaela and I a little bit too much, constantly splashing and shooting water at us. Not to mention, he did not know when to quit playing around. Maybe I would have been a little more tolerant of his behavior if he would have been attractive, but unfortunately for him, he was the oddball out of the good-looking group. But at least he was harmless! We had a stereo blasting music all of the way, until the guy I mentioned splashed it with water repeatedly while trying to get some people wet. We took a little break on a beach to jump off of a rock and snack on some chips. We encountered a guy who was clearly not in the right state of mind, as he was dancing and saying things that did not make any sense. And he was bizarre looking: he must have once been fat because he had a lot of extra skin around his midsection. After jumping off of the rock a few times and witnessing this lady freak out because she thought that someone was going to drown. She was really overreacting to the whole situation, especially considering that the area where the guys were was shallow enough for them to stand, even with the current. So we left and kept on going for a while, and stopped at this rope swing. Normally I would be all over the opportunity to go on a rope swing and jump into the water, but this one was super sketchy. There was little margin for error, and we saw plenty of people eat dirt. I would not have even been tall enough to get a running start, I would have had to be pushed, and the waterline was really low, which made us even more nervous. Only two or three of the guys in our group went off of the rope swing because it just was not safe at all. So we left and then some of the guys saw their friends on this island, so we tried to get over there. Micaela and one of the other guys swam to the island, while the rest of us were trying so hard against the current to get our raft to the island, we ended up pretty far from where we wanted to land. Not only that, but Micaela was nowhere to be found. This really scared me, and I felt so bad for the guys because we were just hitchhikers whom they had picked up, and this must have them worried too. We looked everywhere on the island and around the beach, and I was starting to fear for the worst, well not really, I was told by the guy who swam with her to the island said she started swimming back for us, so we all figured she was further downstream. Just as we were leaving, someone says “Hey, there is your friend, Lauren.” The first thing that I thought was, “No, stop kidding around, she is so not in the bushes over there.” And to my relief, she was there! Turns out that she had accidentally followed the wrong raft group because she thought that they were our newfound friends, but no, it was a group of Asian chicks. So Micaela ended up walking all the way back to us, which took thirty minutes. After that we decided against having any more pitstops! We all had a ton of fun throughout the day, the boys were drinking beer and I was drinking water, as I absolutely hate beer! I finally got more of my tan back, but along with that I got sunburned really badly on my hands/wrists, my feet, the top of my nose, about one centimeter of my forehead, a little on my chest and back, a slight bit on my legs, and worst of all on the top of my head. So now I am peeling all over, and I find my head peeling really embarrassing because it looks like I have really bad dandruff, which is not cute!

I had chemo all last week, and it was not a very good week for me due to my throat hurting. I did puke on that Monday, but that was surely due to anxiety from my earlier stresses in the day. So I will let you know what stressed me out to the point of a breakdown. I went into the clinic just go get a checkup and pick up my chemo drugs for the week. When I got down to the downstairs pharmacy, I was pleased to see my name on the board already. Too bad that they only gave me two out of my three medications. So the pharmacist said she had to get a hard copy from my doctor to fill my prescription. (What?) So I went up 15 minutes later and she told me the same thing, she needed the hard copy from my doctor. I was getting really tired of all of this, so I went back up to the counter and saw a different tech. She gave me AMBIEN. Now, I asked for just my chemo drugs. Everyone knows what ambien is, it makes you sleep, and I certainly did not ask for that drug, so I was pissed. So I had to explain, yet again, that I needed my liquid chemo drug. They kept on making excuses so i started to get really upset because I just wanted to go home. I started tearing up and crying, and made my way upstairs to talk to my doctor to try to find out what was going on. He told me that the downstairs pharmacy needed to send someone up to the upstairs pharmacy to get my chemo drug. The liquid chemo drug was made upstairs and was waiting for me. My doctor apologized for the pharmacy issues, even though it was not his fault. So I went back downstairs and made my plea again, this time I was still tearing up and I was aggravated, giving the techs attitude because they were not listening to me at all. I used aggressive hand signals and whatever else I could so that they would get the picture. Eventually, two hours later, I talked to a different pharmacist (my fourth one I believe) and he actually looked and made sure that something was being done about my chemo. He said to wait just a few more minutes, and that my medication was right there and they were labeling it. And he was right, he called me up a few minutes later and I got my drug. Finally! When I got home, I was really hungry, but I was way too drained and stressed so I took a very long nap, which is what I needed. Panda kept me company throughout my whole nap. Later in the night when I was trying to take my liquid chemo, I felt the urge to puke and had to run to the toilet. Yeah, not fun! And it was even more not fun because of my throat issues and lack of food in my stomach, so basically there was a bunch of acid coming up. But at least I was not nauseous throughout the whole chemo treatment.

Last weekend was really rough for me. I was in so much pain, had the shakes, would sweat profusely- especially at night, was nauseous, and had abdominal pain. Turns out all of this was because I was going through withdrawal from BOTH my liquid morphine and methadone, which I had stopped cold turkey. So I had to call my nurse practitioner, Tamara, and told her how bad I was feeling. So she kind of slapped me on my wrists and told me that I cannot stop methadone cold turkey. So she made me start back on methadone and morphine right away. I immediately felt 1000x better after taking my liquid morphine. Even my demeanor was changed. I had felt like crying just five minutes before, and then I felt energized and perked up and got out of my bad mood. My dad came over to take me to get my blood drawn and then took me to get some weed to help me eat. (I weighed in at 116, which was troubling for both myself and them) So I have to say, I am not intimidated to get marijuana by myself. My dad was not allowed in the room where all of the products were anyways. The lady who helped me out with my first-time purchases was absolutely amazing. She gave me the types that will make me hungry, and told me the difference between sativas and indigas/os; one is for during the day use and the other helps with falling asleep. I ended up getting a little bit of both kinds, and also got a vaporizer pen (which is awesome and looks techy as it has a usb drive) that uses oil. After the trip there, I went to a smoke shop, again, with my dad, to pick out a pipe of some sort. When we got there, to my surprise, I saw my old swimming buddy Andrey and his friend Hunter. I am very sure they were shocked to see me go into the smoke shop with my dad, so that was hilarious. I ended up choosing a small water pipe that looks like a snake, so I named it The Green-Eyed Beast. It is pretty and sparkly and shiny!

On Tuesday, I had the pleasure to Skype with the one and only Gordon Ramsay. When I was first told that my cancer was terminal, my social worker got me hooked up with The Dream Foundation, an organization that grants wishes for those of all ages who are going through life-threatening diseases (or for people who have terminal diseases). Kind of like Make-A-Wish-Foundation, except they have an age limit of 17, so I was never eligible for a wish granted by them to begin with. Luckily, for my first diagnosis I was granted my wish to go to the Olympic Swim Trials in Nebraska by Kids Wish Network. Ok, I had to give a little back story, now back to Chef Ramsay. We Skyped at 9 in the morning, and I was full of nervous energy before I got to talking to him. Once I saw him, my anxiety was put to rest. Gordon Ramsay introduced me to his wife and two of his daughters, and said that his whole family are supporters of me, which I thought was the sweetest thing that someone could say. We talked for a total of 23 minutes, and I only know that it was this long because we recorded it to keep it in our memories, and as well to send a copy to The Dream Foundation. Honestly, when I was talking to Ramsay, it was like he was a regular person, he is that down to earth. We talked about his shows, and he asked me who I thought was going to win Masterchef, and I told him the annoying chick, to where he laughed and told me that everyone was annoying. I finally remembered her name was Krissy, and he agreed with me that she is annoying, but she can really cook. I asked him what his favorite show that he participates in was, and he told me Great Escapes, as he was living in an Indian tribe for two months and learned to cook their food with them. Ramsay also stated that he had cooked for the troops in Iraq to support them, and stated that the other food they had to eat was just awful, so I know the soldiers appreciated a meal from such a renowned chef. We ended up laughing about a bunch of different things, such as when he smashes an undercooked or severely overcooked piece of fish with his palm- sending bits of fish flying everywhere. We think a lot alike, such as our frustrations that all of the competitors on Hell’s Kitchen smoke, and the smoke totally kills taste buds! I thought it was amazing that he brought it up, cuz I always think the same thing. Great minds think alike I guess! Since my wish was to have Gordon cook for me, he said he plans on getting that done soon, oh say, in September for an episode of Hell’s Kitchen! He will give me a table in the kitchen (I believe) and will personally cook whatever I want him to cook for me. That for sure is going to be duck, because that is my absolute favorite protein. And yes, it will be during a taping of Hell’s Kitchen, so I will be on film. I hope to further reach out to people that there is childhood cancer and to be aware of all of these deadly diseases. With so many little children dying from leukemia, brain tumors, osteosarcomas, there is just no way that we should be overlooked by society. Childhood cancer needs more recognition, such as having an awareness month just like breast cancer does. I did research on sarcomas, and they have a much higher percentage of deaths than breast cancer does. Just saying the hard facts, so I want more research to be done to help these poor kids who haven’t even been given a chance to have children of their own. I mean, I am very sure that at this point I will not be able to give birth to a child of my own, however, I plan on beating this cancer and being able to go back to school, having a legit wedding (sorry Egor lol but I doubt the ceremony will be nearly as good as ours was) and then adopt a child. I still have plans, I would not say that my plans are dead, I would say that they are just being put on hold for a while. I am sure a lot of people are wondering how I feel about seeing my friends go off to college while I am staying at home. Well, I am honestly extremely jealous. I want to go to school so bad, and it infuriates me when people constantly skip classes and come late to class every day. Like, you are lucky to even be in school, whether it is a community college, university, state college, or a prestigious private college. That does not make a difference to me. You are bettering yourself nevertheless. I am going to have to find ways to keep myself busy during the day. Maybe I will volunteer an old folks home, write the book that everyone is begging me to write: How I Planned My Wedding in Three Weeks… Two Spent in the Pediatric Oncology Ward. Yeah, I might have to work on that title, but it really does capture everything! So if you have any ideas about a better name for my book, please contact me and tell me! It would be greatly appreciated.

Today I received a lovely box in the mail containing clothing from Hollister. I was so happy when it came, because I wanted to have new clothes to wear down to San Diego for the weekend. Yes, I am going on a roadtrip with my brother and DeAngela down to San Diego on Friday morning and then leave San Diego on Monday morning. We all really want to see my “husband”, my best friend, really badly. We haven’t seen him since the day after we got “married”. So that was in July. It is about time for us to see him again. We are so excited, and I get to take the roadtrip off of my bucketlist! Yay! Egor’s mom is going to cook some Russian food for us to take to Egor, and I know he will be so happy with them! She is so thoughtful and nice. (Oh, and to add to my “mother-in-law”s total awesomeness, she brought over sushi and cakes for me when I wasn’t feeling so good. It was just the nicest thing ever!

Please Note: Egor and I are not an actual couple. We were not, and are not dating. He married me (unofficially of course) because my prognosis was so bad. He and I are just best friends, and both of us love it that way. So yes, I do love him, but its the friend/family love for him. And he feels the same way. I just had to clear that out for some people who misinterpreted the whole situation. Egor is just that great of a person to marry me in a time of great need, I owe a lot to him because of this. So I am going to try to make it up to him by letting him be my dinner “date” to Hell’s Kitchen, besides, it will be so fun and I will get to spend time with one of my best friends who I don’t get to see as much.

So I guess I am going to go to bed now, Ive spent a good 1 1/2 hours writing and I am going to need some sleep. I think I need to be pestered to write here more often! But until next time!

Thank you for reading my blog. If you like it then please subscribe to it, and please just try to get this blog out to as many people as possible. So if you could share this on your facebook, that would be so appreciated. Or post it on twitter, and I think I am going to have to get one to help spread awareness of childhood cancer and how dangerous it is. Is it considered being conceited if I want to become instagram, twitter, and wordpress popular? That way I would be able to reach many more people! I kind of would like to be a voice of childhood cancer. That is a good goal, I believe. Oh, and my goal is to try to get into a trial study next year, so hopefully that will get rid of my cancer! So my goals are to be a spokesperson of childhood and young adult cancer; last but certainly not least, I want to kick my ewing’s sarcoma cancerous tumors’ asses! Wahoo I am tough so that is a reachable goal!

Back to Reality

Posted by swimchicklauren

Sorry for not having been on for so long, and I really do mean it this time. I have worried some people who do not even know me, but I will let you all know that I am alive and fine, I have just been a little hermit lately.

So why have I been a hermit lately? I can never know for sure, but I have a feeling that it has been because of the depression that just strings along with being diagnosed with cancer- whether it is terminal or not does not change the feeling of wanting to be alone. I felt this the first time I went through cancer in my thigh, I just did not want to talk to anyone and was not interested in texting people or calling people back. I am the same way now. It has nothing to do with who the person it is who I will reply to, I just don’t touch my phone unless I am browsing the internet and whatnot. Ok, I have made a few exceptions to like one select person, but I have been very hard to get a hold of. I guess it is just a little rut that I am in, and I will get over it soon enough, just as I have done in the past. So please, take no offence if I do not respond to your texts or calls or emails, I feel like being a hermit!

Ok, I guess I should update you guys on my medical issues. Even though my cancer prognosis is terminal, there is no longer a date to go with it. No more “3 weeks to 3 months” or even “up to six months”. I will know when and if my time is coming down based by how I feel and how well I can breath. I have been very stable when it comes to my oxygen saturation level has been far above 90% (if you get below that, then you would be wearing tubes to help get you more oxygen. My percentages are around 98%, which is very safe, and that is what keeps me feeling good, if I know that my oxygen saturation level is good, and has been staying good, that means that the radiation is really killing the tumors around the lung. I will always be honest with this blog, and as of now, I would say I have a 5% chance of living, Even with that number being made up by myself, I think it is accurate and it can keep my hopes up that I will be able to go on and live.

Because, I really want to live. (this part is going to be emotional- warning!) I want to be able to actually swim at state and be the best on the DVC swim team. And lets be honest, I would have been captain if I were actually going back to school. I sure hope that I can, because I want to swim, I want to strengthen my relationships with the swimmers I met last year. I love my team, and I need to spend so much more time with them, and to spend time actually competing with them. Gosh, I really want to swim.

I have had many bad side effects from chemo that I drink. Yes, it is as gross as it sounds. I have to take 2 pills and then gulp down chemo mixed with margarita mix and raspberry lemonade. This chemo made my appetite go to zero. I would not want any food and I did not feel even hungry. I lost a lot of weight. Like, 7-10 lbs of weight. Right now, as we speak, I weigh 119.5. I am normally at least 125. So now I am about to get into the medicinal marijuana industry. Yes, you did read that right. Lauren is officially going to be a pot head. But honestly, without it I would not eat at all. I really need to get my card and everything, Ive been putting it off because Ive been in a rut and have not been wanting to do anything or go anywhere.

Oh, and I have had 9 out of my 10 radiations and I have horrible side effects. The target is raised higher towards my esophagus to try to get a tumor that is near my shoulder. So basically my throat hurts so bad because it is burnt. It hurts to swallow in general, not to mention swallowing water hurts, and eating is extremely difficult. I have to take this “magic mouthwash” which honestly does not do the magic it needs to do. It lasts for like 2 minutes of sorta numbness, but doesn’t hit exactly where I need the numbness. So again, I am losing weight. And I actually want to eat this time so that makes it much more annoying. I am craving “Moose Munch” which is caramel corn with chocolate… YUM! But most of all, I really want to eat the Reeses’ Puffs that are in my pantry. I want those so bad, I can almost taste it. Too bad that would tear up my burnt throat almost as much as Cap’n Crunch.

Ok so how about some good news? I went to the bay area to go to what was supposed to be a rager swim party, but it turned into a kickback. I was actually really glad that a lot of people flaked, because there was absolutely no drama between anyone in the group, and the few of us had a lot of fun and bonded. We played some water pong, and I must say, Steven and I made quite a team! The other people who were there was Dom and his girlfriend Shannon, Tyler, Alexa and her friend, Jose, and Matt and Julio for a little bit. We ended up cooking a bomb pasta with white sauce (made by Steven) and caramelized polish sausage (done by myself). It was so good, I swear Steven has the best kitchen ever filled with everything you could ever use in making a dish. I would be cooking all day there.

The day after the kickback, I went to swim with dolphins. It was a whole lot of fun, but it was a little bit of a short ride. We put on wetsuits and got into a pool with two dolphins. I got to ride one, and man, she decided to go fast when it came to me, which was awesome!

So my last day of radiation is tomorrow, and to celebrate I am going to be bartending in an actual bar! I am going to learn how to make drinks and serve them up, I am very excited for this, cuz I have always wanted to know how to make good drinks to impress my friends. A lot of my babysitting coop family members are going to be there as well, so even more of a reason to be excited.

Also, on Sunday, I will be doing a photoshoot with one of my lovely model friends, Danielle. If they can make me look as fantastic as she does (even though she is gorgeous without trying) I will be very excited. I have kind of always wanted to do a photoshoot, but never had the opportunity to do so, and now, well I guess that will be taken care of.

I also did start an OKCupid account, which is a dating site, because there arent exactly many ways that I can meet guys at this point, and I would love to date around and meet new people and just have a lot of fun. I did end up going on a movie date, and we were supposed to hang out the next day, however he had to cancel. Then the next day, we planned on hanging out again, and he totally blew me off and flaked. I have not heard from him since, but it is his loss by far! Shows his immaturity anyways. I havent been on that site in a few days, even though I am talking to some really cool guys.. its just me being a little hermit again…

But I did start writing again, so hey, maybe I will slip out of these antisocial ways soon!

My Big Fat Wedding

Posted by swimchicklauren

Married!

So it has been quite a long time since I have posted here, and I would say that I am sorry for making you guys wait so long for a post, but I am not, since I have been incredibly busy and then extremely exhausted.

So I guess I will start with my wedding! I woke up at about 7 because I could not sleep any longer, I was so anxious for the big day. I ended up watching tv for a while and downed a Starbucks energy drink to keep me awake due to my lack of great sleep, because of the anxiety of the wedding. I then took a shower and put on a very cute robe that had “bride” spelled out on the back. I actually got this from someone who read my blog, so whomever you are, thank you so much! It was very thoughtful and perfect for me while I got my hair and makeup done.

Julie from EllaBlue came over at about 9 to do my makeup, and man, she does know how to make me look fantastic but not plastic. It was a more natural way of doing makeup that made my eyes really pop, she does fantastic work!

One of Rebecca’s friends, Kathy- who happens to own Studio 3 Salon, also came over to do my hair how I requested as “beachy”. At first I was nervous because the curls were a little too tight, but Kathy reassured me that they would loosen up with enough time to make my appearance at the wedding. Luckily, that was the case!

I had so many photographers, it was amazing, and they caught quite some good angles of Egor and I. They were beautiful! One of my photographers was Shaila Hogan from my swim team, another was Allyson Wiley and her assistant Chantel, and the videographer was Joel (Edge Fog Films). You should look them up, they do fantastic work and helped share in my joy for the day. They were all so nice and even interviewed myself and my groom (and maybe a few others) that I am sure we will see soon enough. Mine ended up making everyone cry, including myself, because I went into very persona things into my statement.

Anyways, all of my bridesmaids and my bridesman were on time and beautifully dressed and matching, and they all got to see me getting all made up for the wedding, and they shared in my crisis of losing 2 inches from dress since I got out of the hospital. Most of it was from the waterweight I gained in the hospital, as well as the heartburn that made me unable to eat very much. So we had to frantically pin up my dress so it would actually stay on. The dress was not as tight as I would have hoped, but it still looked really good on me.

After I was all ready with my garter, my shoes, a pearl necklace my mother-in-law gave me, and another pearl necklace that I turned into bracelet that my mom gave me. The bridal party, my brother, and I got to take a white escalade limo to the venue of my wedding. It was amazing, I have never had my own limo, or even taken one to prom, so this was definitely a dream come true. When we arrived at the wedding (only 5 minutes late, thanks to my shrinking body in my dress) I was able to see how many people were sitting down waiting for me to walk down the aisle. We had an order to things that we had practiced at the rehearsal dinner the night before. That night was also the first time I had seen Egor since May. So it was quite a cute reunion, and he told me that I looked beautiful, so that naturally made me blush. It was so nice to see him and be able to practice walking down the aisle so we could make the wedding as clean as possible.

First, the groomsmen walked across to their spot at the end of the aisle. Then, Egor escorted his mom from near the limo to a seat right in front of the alter. After that, my brother Mark escorted my mom down the aisle and to her seat to the left of the alter. Then my bridesmaids walked down the aisle one by one, starting with Kevin, then Susette, then Eden, then my maid of honor, DeAngela, then my junior bridesmaid Ava and her brother Owen, the ring barer. Then my dad and I made our way down the aisle, arm in arm. He then kissed me after he presented me to Egor. I could see the happiness on Egor’s face as I walked down the aisle and then turned to him, and again he told me I looked beautiful, and I totally believe that he meant it fully. We talked a little bit (due to nerves) when the officiant Jeanne from the coop spoke, introducing us and telling stories about me and then stories about Egor and I. Oh, and there were flies attacking Egor’s face during the whole ceremony so I had to constantly swipe at his face to get them off, it was cute and funny. And then a bee landed on a flower near his head, I freaked out, luckily he did not and kept his cool. When it was our turn to say our vows, we were nervous and shaky, but they came out all right. The part that gave us the most trouble were the rings. Luke, the best man, had issues untying our rings from the pillow (the same pillow my mom used when she married my dad) so he had to get help from Jeanne to get them untied. Everyone in the audience laughed, so it made it a lot easier to get over the nerves. The rings that both Egor and I chose were perfect for each other. I got him a white gold ring that had two darker bands around it and he got me a yellow gold band that goes perfectly with the ring I already had on my hand from my aunt Susan. And the kiss, wow, I am still amazed by it. He dipped me when we had our first kiss, it was magical and unexpected! It was the sweetest and most romantic thing that has ever happened to me. We then walked down the isle, arm and arm and then proceeded to the front of the property to take pictures. We took a lot of family pictures as well as some pictures with friends and the bridal and groom parties. They turned out fantastic if I do say so myself! It was so much fun, we took more pictures of him dipping me and kissing, pictures of him spinning me in his arms, and many other cute pictures. After all of that, we made our way to the buffet table full of delicious Mexican food (at this moment I do not remember the name). Later also came 3 party platters of sushi that came from the best sushi place ever- Mikuni. Not only was the sushi amazing, but they were donated to my wedding. After eating, Egor and I went over and took pictures in the photobooth that we had set up to keep things entertaining for everyone. Then we were ushered over to cut the 4-layer cake I had gotten from Freeport Bakery- I designed it based on two different cake I found on pinterest. Although I only got to try one level of the cake, the strawberry with yellow cake, but it was still so fantastic. We then had toasts after that, in which Kevin, DeAngela, Luke, and Job make speeches for us. It was so cute, and it was amazing to know that our friends love us so much. Then we had the father daughter dance (as well as the mother and son dance for Egor and his mother). Followed by that, I danced with Egor for our first dance to “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. That song is so appropriate for the two of us, we accept each other no matter what the situation. Then I danced with Egor’s dad while Egor danced with my mom. It was all so sweet, it was perfect. Then I had to do a wardrobe change because it was so hot outside, I got into my old prom dress, which was a whole lot tighter than my wedding dress and I was much more comfortable in it. I spent a little bit of time talking to my swim team friends from college and danced a little bit, but Egor was getting way too hot, so we made our exit, only after giving my address to my swim friends so they could come to an after party at my house.

The afterparty was so fun! Egor, Luke, and I went to BevMo to get $200 worth of booze, including my favorite smirnoff ice blueberry lemonades, Blue Moon beer, Ciroc, Captain Morgan spiced rum, smirnoff pineapple vodka, beer for beerpong, and some margaritas and stuff. Oh, and not to mention we got mango Malibu rum. The afterparty group consisted of pretty much all the swimmers who came to the wedding, as well as my bridal party, DeAngela’s date, and the groomsmen along with their girlfriends. It was quite a fun night, we danced and played beerpong and other drinking games, and later on we got a hookah and smoked that for a little bit while we were outside. Oh, and did I mention that the afterparty started at 5? It was definitely an early time to be drinking, but I prefer day drinking so you do not feel as tired the next day or as hungover (although it takes too much hard liquor for me to get drunk, so I just drank a few of my favorite low alcohol percent drinks). The party ended at 10, and the only people left were me, Egor, DeAngela, and Grant- her date. We took to the couches to watch “Sinnister” a truly scary movie. However, I was the only one who was awake. Egor promised me he was going to stay up and watch it with me, but I could tell that it was not happening once I heard him snoring and felt him twitching. After the movie was over, I woke up everyone so they could go to their beds. Egor slept in my room with me (with the door open of course, out of respect) and all we did was cuddle, even though he took up most of the bed, it was so nice to actually cuddle with someone of the opposite sex. It was so comforting, and we held hands in bed too and he would kiss my hand, just sweet. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for more. It was perfect and was exactly what I needed, I just needed someone to lay next to me and comfort me. DeAngela and Grant took to my upstairs bedroom with a twin bed and also, with the door open, cuddled. So the night went very well for the both of us. In the morning, Dee and Grant left so that Dee could get stuff out of her room so she could get new carpet. Egor and I slept a little bit longer, and then we finally got up at around 10. We were on the couch just hanging out for a bit until he went to his parent’s house to hang out with his family, which I was all for. At about 5 on Sunday, I went over to Egor’s house to say goodbye, as well as bring over some cake to his family and show them the guest book and other pictures taken in the photobooth of everyone there. There were other people there as well to say goodbye to Egor, such as Job, Abe, Luke, and Egor’s cousin. We all ate and hung out for a while, then the guys got kicked out while I stayed so I could say bye to Egor at the last minute. I would have gone to the airport with them, but I soon had to take more pain pills because my back was acting up as usual. Next time I will escort him to the airport, because I believe that he is coming back in about three weeks, and he will be staying for 10 days. Honeymoon maybe? Haha we will see about that one!

Anyways, yesterday I had an appointment with the oncology team and we decided on getting IV chemo once every three weeks, and during that week I will also be taking some oral chemo, which I have to say, tastes pretty darn nasty. But it is better than being in the hospital so often when I could be spending my time having fun and accomplishing things on my bucket list. I will also begin radiation on my upper chest and shoulder area to get rid of some of the pain I have in my upper back and shoulder. So lets hope that I can be feeling really well soon and be able to breathe much easier. Oh, and I have to say, the fluid in my lungs has decreased rapidly and is now only the size of a baseball! Yay!

So I really need to get to bed as I am going to catch up with an old elementary school friend tomorrow.

Yours truly,

Lauren McCullough

My Day of Pampering!

Posted by swimchicklauren

Today I was woken up, not by my mom, but by my butthead of a cat, Panda. He was in my room at about 9 in the morning and was jumping on my bed and playing with some cords that are hanging off of a metal drawer that my mom has set up for important documents in the corner of my room. He probably played in my room for thirty minutes before becoming bored and leaving. I then actually got up at around 10:30 and promptly sat on the couch due to my burning esophagus. I caught up on the latest episode of “Catfish”, and again, was not surprised when yet another person had been led on through the internet. Man, are they dense!

DeAngela came over at around 11 and we kind of just sat around watching tv, including my favorite daytime tv shows, “The Chew” and of course, “The Jerry Springer Show”. Yeah, I am so not afraid to admit that I watch that show. It is full of trashy people and ratchets, and I must say that it makes me feel so much better about myself! I am embarrassed to say that I do compare myself to these people though. While sitting on the couch I got quite a few phone calls, so I was feeling pretty darn popular. I believe the first one was from my case manager, Shelly. We were talking about my issue with my esophagus. She immediately sent for a medication to be filled for me at my closest pharmacy to try to alleviate my pain. My mom then called and basically told me exactly what Shelly had literally said minutes before. Then I had a call from the owner of Mikuni’s. This surprised me, and we talked for a little bit and he said that he was forwarding my wish for sushi at my wedding to his marketing team, so I am hopeful that I will get top-notch sushi for my big day (okay, mine and Egor’s big day). I also got a call from my social worker, Troy, to kind of touch base with me for my hospice care. At 3:30, Dee left for what I thought was running errands. I would later find out that is was part of a sinister plan that was in the making (okay, not sinister, but I believe it brings in some suspense).

My mom came home at 4:10ish to take me to my spa day. When we got there, I was surprised to see quite a few familiar faces at the salon waiting for me with balloons, champagne, and tiaras. All in all, the people who were there were Kevin, DeAngela, Sydney, Eden, Rebecca, Ken, Susan, my mom, and then me! The salon name is EllaBlue, and I was astounded by the generosity of the owner, Julie. She offered any and every service for my mom and I, for free. I got a manicure and a pedicure, my eyebrows waxed for the first time (which did not hurt at all), my eyebrows tinted to be a little darker, had my makeup done (testing out for the wedding), and got a spray tan. We all had a fantastic time with food catered by the Habit burger and Noodles and Co. Yeah, I guess you could say I have been spoiled this week, but I guess it is my wedding week, so I am not expecting this treatment after, trust me on that! I was also given a fantastic gift from Eden and her family- toasting glasses! They are beautiful and are engraved with my and Egor’s name and our wedding date. Cute! It was a long day of pampering, we were there for pretty much 4 hours, so I am pooped! Oh, and did I mention that Jamie from EllaBlue has offered and arranged time for me on Friday to give me a facial and eyelash extensions? She is also doing my makeup for my wedding day, if you did not already pick up on that. What a great person (and her crew were pretty darn cool as well).

I got to have a little bit of a mom and I night tonight, as when we got home I pigged out on some leftover Panda Express and brownie pops, trying to gain just a little bit of weight back from what I lost from only being able to eat when my heartburn was not bad. (Oh, and my new medication works like a charm! Thank goodness, I finally have some relief!) We watched some tv and now she is in bed, and I am thinking that I should do the same!

Tomorrow is Fourth of July, and I am pretty excited for it! I will be spending it with my friends and family at my dad’s house. We have a pool there and are holding a party there, which we have been doing since I was little. It will be full of people who I have known for my whole life, and they will all be present at my wedding as well, so I will be seeing a lot of them! I am looking forward to tanning (with actual sun this time) and hitting the pool with my friends and family.

So, until tomorrow, yours truly,

Lauren

P.S. My case manager let me know that I will be able to get future radiation treatments, so I guess there is a little hope left for me, you never know, I might get that miracle! If not, I plan on staying alive at least until I turn 21. Gotta hit that mark!

My Emotional Rollercoaster!

Posted by swimchicklauren

Today I was woken up at about 11:45 because my mom called my cell phone, so I woke up to it blaring “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore. I have to admit, it is not the worst way to wake up, it could have been an ugly alarm sound but at least it was good music to pump me up in the morning. DeAngela was already in the house and was on the couch and answered the phone for me, then handed it to me, only for my mom to apologize for waking me up and that if I were going out anywhere, some of my medications need to be refilled (a suggestion that I should get my meds refilled).

Again, I was stricken by my heartburn-like symptoms, so I was not able to start on the buckets, unlike Dee. I got a phone call from Kaiser, at a number that I was unfamiliar with, as I have gotten a lot of calls from Kaiser and I normally recognize where they are calling from by the number. Turns out it was from the hospice department. She was saying that we were having an appointment at my house, that day, at 1:30. Um, what? I had no clue about any of this, so I was in shock to say the least, but I just went with it. I called my dad to let him know, and he said he would be over by 1:30 for the appointment. My mom also came home in time for the hospice worker to come over for a consultation. Naturally, being on hospice is never a good sign. I already know what is going to happen to me, but I try to not think about it at all and just bury it in the back of my mind. Having the lady there explaining about what hospice offers made my imminent death right front and center. As much as I want to stay positive and hope that everything will be okay in the end, I do not want to get that false hope in something that I have been guaranteed will happen. The hospice lady said that the best case scenario would be that I get kicked out in three months because I will no longer be terminally ill. I was given at most three months to live, however I plan on living longer than that. That is how I will stay hopeful- by living longer than I was told I would. Not getting cured, because that is an incredibly long shot, but just living long enough to fully accept what will happen to me. As much as I say that I have accepted the fact that I am going to die at a young age, I really haven’t thought about it too much. And I often say that I am more worried about how my friends and family are going to cope without me and deal with my loss; however I am scared to die. Straight up, I do not want to die. I feel like I have so much more to offer the world than I have in the past 20 years. If I had another 20, I believe that I could really contribute a lot to society. I have always wanted to start a family, as I know for a fact that I would be a good mom (if you see the way I treat my cat Panda then you would understand as well) and would raise a great child. I will not be able to accomplish that, but I will be able to be a good wife for the time that I have left. A great one, in fact. I have seen what it takes to have a successful relationship, what not to do and what to do, first-hand so I have learned so much from what I have seen. Whether it is from my friends’ relationships, my mother’s, and my friends of family’s relationships, I always take notice of the little things that make a great and lasting relationship. As much as this marriage won’t be lasting a very long time, it is taking into account the “through sickness and in health”, “for better or for worst”, “until death do us part.” I guess that is all that I can truly ask for in a marriage. So I will have to thank Egor for marrying me- I cannot thank him enough for making me his bride. It takes a lot of courage to jump into a marriage, especially one where you have not dated each other. At least we are best friends and always will be, this will make us even better best friends.

Oh, I guess I got a little off track. The hospice appointment is not exactly what I thought it was going to be like. Mostly just saying what they offered, such as 24/7 nurses available, volunteers available, etc. And some paper signing, mostly confirming that we understand what was offered to us. I started crying, because talking about me dying is an incredibly sensitive subject, so my parents were hugging me and supporting me while I was wailing. I absolutely hate crying in front of anyone and try not to at any cost, but I just had to let it go. Even the hospice lady cried for a second- somehow I think that they do not have as many cases of young people going into hospice, so this really touched her. After learning how to use my oxygen machine, the lady left.

My dad and DeAngela stayed to watch some tv about extreme couponers, whom we all agree on are hoarders and greedy little pigs. They need to not have this huge stockpile of food and supplies that will expire by the time they use them. They need to donate a lot of their items, otherwise it is such a waste, no matter if they spent any money on the items or not. Then we ended up watching River Monsters, which is much more interesting. Man, there are some crazy scary fish out there!!!

Eventually everyone left and I sat on the couch watching another program on animal planet while waiting for Chopped to come on. My dad came back to watch that show with me, as we share the love of that show. Tuesday nights are Chopped nights with my dad.

Jeanne came over to go over the vows and other things, as she is going to be the officiant for my wedding. While she is nervous, she is so excited to be representing something so important in my wedding.

Well, I am pretty darn tired right now, so I will stop writing right now! Goodnight, and I cannot wait for my wedding in a few days! Woohoo!

Your Soon-to-be-Bride,

Lauren =]

Decoration-Making Party!

Posted by swimchicklauren

Today I woke up at about 1:30pm, which is absolutely crazy for me. I thought that my waking up a bit after 12 was bad, but this is a new late for me! I guess I should not be too surprised that I slept in that late as I did stay up until about 12 last night, but still! I guess my body really does need to recover from the radiation damage on my organs. When I woke up, DeAngela was already here and had quietly started working on the buckets. I joined her almost right away after I had woken up, and found out that she had barely just started putting sequins on the buckets, frantically trying to catch up to the amount of sequin work that I had done (we were working on different parts of the buckets). I worked on the buckets for a little while until my “heartburn” started really acting up, so then I vacated to the couch to try to let my esophagus calm down. By the time I got back to the projects, Dee had not only caught up to me, but exceeded what I had done with the buckets, so I was very pleased- I love a good race. Eden came over at about three today to help me with the buckets. Eden’s mom Rebecca also delivered to me some of the containers for the tropical juice that I had posted about in my last post. I was so happy! This means that I do not have to purchase my own juice dispensers and can use the money for whatever else is needed for the wedding, or for my long list of things I wish to accomplish before I leave this world. After Rebecca left Eden, DeAngela, and I to continue our work with the decorations, we found out that we were going to run out of sequins for the buckets before we could finish all 21 of them (we went through a lot of sequins). DeAngela’s sequin job (she was in charge of working with blueish sequins) ended early because she would not have enough to even finish another bucket. She then left so she could hang out with her family and run some other errands. Eden and I continued to work on our part of the buckets until we just about ran out of sequins as well. Dee promised to bring over more sequins tomorrow when she comes over so we can finish the project once and for all.

At about 5:30 I took my shower for the day. Yeah, I know later than usual, but I started the day pretty darn late, so I think that is a good enough excuse. We also had a bunch of babysitting coop ladies coming over to decorate 150 fans to make sure that my wedding guests do not get too hot, although it is supposed to cool down for my wedding weekend, yippee! And by the way, the fans look fantastic, pun intended. My mom provided the working ladies with Panda Express and some wine-coolers, what a better way to treat our guests? I think all that one needs to get people over to help out is an offer of food and beverages. I am not going to give up any secrets on how my fans look though, other than the fact that they look damn good and go with my beach theme very nicely.

Today I was greeted by a very awkward message from someone I went to high school with but was not close to. It kind of came out of nowhere, and I will be honest, I did not know what to expect at first. This person told me that they had done some research on cancer treatment and wanted to give me tips that might save me. (What? This person has no authority to give me tips or anything about cancer, at all.) They were suggesting that I would eat no foods with GMOs or extra chemicals (by the way, I had done a lot of research on GMOs for an essay in English, and there is absolutely no proof that they are bad for you at all). Then they added something about cannabis oil being said to cure it if it is injected (again, what?) as well as saying that hemp seeds hold a lot of different nutrition. Um, in my diet I get plenty of nutrition, and besides, antioxidants are terrible for people who already have cancer and are getting chemo, as chemo is an oxidant, which means it would completely counteract with the chemo. I just felt it was an ignorant statement and I was offended by it. My doctors are doing tons of research (and did I mention that I have four amazing oncologists?) to try to prolong my life. If there was a simple cure like a change in diet then naturally they would have told me about it right away. I trust my doctors with my life, and I know they are doing whatever they can to make me live as long as possible.

Sorry, I tend to rant a little when I get upset about these sorts of things. It’s like, do not talk cancer to me if you have no idea about anything to do with it. If you have not been diagnosed yourself with it or work with it on a daily basis, then you have no reason to be discussing treatment or tips for me. I will take tips from my fellow chemo buddies on what meds they take to make themselves less nauseous, and I have before and so appreciated it. Ok, I think I am done with this topic…

But the wedding is almost here! It is crazy, I am so excited and I know that it will be a wedding to remember. I still have a bit of work to do with the decorations, but it will not take too much more work to get them all done. On Wednesday I am going to get my nails done and get a facial, and whatever else the owner of EllaBlue wants to give me. Oh, and I will finally get my eyebrows waxed… I have not plucked them in way too long and they are driving me crazy, as I am very OCD about them looking nice. I will also be tanning out my awesome swim tanlines. I am pretty stoked about that.

Well, since I have a lot of work to do tomorrow, I am going to end this post now! Goodnight!

Yours truly,

Lauren

Getting Ready for the Wedding- My Turn for Physical Work!

Posted by swimchicklauren

So yesterday I was not able to post because I was literally falling asleep at 9 while browsing on the internet. Clearly, the power of the radiation has made me a bit less of a night owl than I have been in the last month, which is a shame because I love writing my blogs at around 10 or 11 every night.

Yesterday I slept in until about 12, which is more than I have slept in for years, at least that I can think of, because I like waking up a bit earlier so as to not waste the day, even though most of the time I will spend the extra daytime to watch tv and surf the internet, but for some reason sleep seems like more of a waste of time- don’t ask, it is one of my weird quirks.

Anyways, I was lazy most of the day until about 2, when my mom came back from Shane Co. with the wedding band that I had chosen (as another company had messed up and shipped the wrong ring, which was gold rather than the white gold that I had ordered) and picked up the silverware and dinner plates for the wedding at probably four different Smart and Finals. You could say she probably took the whole stock of dining ware from each of the stores, which I find pretty darn funny. She also went to K-mart (I don’t remember why she did) and found a perfect pair of wedding shoes there for herself, which is amazing, because K-mart is not where you expect to find cute shoes.

When my mom got back from all of her errands, we went shopping for shoes for myself at DSW. I found the cutest sandals with lots of bling that are comfy enough to stand in all day. You could say that I fell in love with the shoes, and they will go fantastic with the dress- as my dress is the perfect length for sandals.

After finding the perfect shoes, which took no time at all, we stopped by my favorite sushi restaurant to try to get them to cater for the wedding. Unfortunately, they open at 12 and I would need the sushi by 10. I was not pleased by this at all, because a lot of people are expecting sushi (including me) so I will have to ask a lot more sushi restaurants if they can cater at the early time, because it has been my dream to have sushi at my wedding, especially since it is a beach themed wedding. After the disappointing visit, my mom and I had a much more successful time at Michael’s, an arts and crafts store. I always love shopping at Michael’s because they have incredible finds that you would never expect to find. We found tons of great things to decorate the wedding favors and for the actual decorations for the tables and other places. We found shells, cute and beachy stickers, sequins in many shapes and colors that go with the theme, and just other goodies that I will find good use for. After that, my mom and I headed towards the Hallmark store for toasting glasses but came up empty handed- the only things they had were literally hillbilly goblet-like champagne glasses, and those certainly were not going to work. Then we went next door to a Target to look for miscellaneous other goodies. We ended up getting a lot of soccer cones, which surprised me, because I had no idea what they could possibly be for. My mom later explained that it was for marking out certain parking spots for my grandparents, as my grandpa has a hard time getting around, so he will get a spot nice and close to the ceremony. We also bought some diet cat food for my kitty Panda, as he is no longer an outdoor cat. We bought some cute pinkish-coral buckets to hold the silverware that will be bundled in napkins to make setup for lunch at the wedding faster and easier. We also picked up some cold drinks at the register because the 100 plus degree weather was wearing us down was not too pleasant. As we were heading back to the car, I got a call from a number that I thought was my dad, reminding me to come over to call the bank so that my recent (and somewhat suspicious) purchases can be confirmed by me so that they do not freeze my account. However, when I answered “Hi Dad,” I was greeted with the voice of a woman. The woman’s name is Cricket, and I have known her for a very long time due to my swimming with her daughter since I was 12. I was shocked that she had called me and told me that her daughter, Courtney (whom I also swam with, but not as long) and some of her army friends (yes she is in the army as well) had raised some money to help me with the wedding. This really touched my heart, because I was not really close to Courtney, and her troop members cared enough about my situation that they would give their hard-earned money to someone that they did not know. Cricket told me that Courtney had read this blog and was moved by it, enough to raise money for me and my big day. After I got off of the phone with Cricket, my mom and I drove to my dad’s house- not only to clear up the suspicions of my spending, but also to let Cricket come by and give me the check. It was a brief visit at my dad’s house because I was utterly exhausted from just a few hours of shopping and I needed to lie down to recuperate my tired body.

Now onto today’s activities! I slept in until about 11:30 today, despite going to bed by 9:30. My heartburn-like symptoms continued again with the start of the morning. I was also pretty nauseous, so thanks radiation for all of these nasty side effects, however the benefits of breathing far outweigh the negative side effects of discomfort/pain. I took some of my meds to try to make the pain more bearable, and they did the trick for the most part. I still was uncomfortable so I stayed on the couch until about 2:30, when I took a shower to get ready for my future mother-in-law’s visit (she had tried to call me but I was asleep, so at about 12 she called my mom asking to visit and to help out with the decorations, which was fantastic in my book). At around 3 Irina came and brought over some decorations of her own and some beautiful big shells that can be placed throughout the wedding if it will look good. I showed Irina what the collages are going to look like- there is one of just me, one of just Egor, and one of us together (which is my personal favorite, it is so cute!). I then showed her the wedding band that I had chosen for Egor, and she happily approved of it. Irina then had a surprise for me- a necklace made of three rings of pearls. They are beautiful, and i know it will go perfectly with my dress. My mom was a little jealous because she wanted me to wear her pearl necklace, but in the end I will choose which one looks best on me on my wedding day.

About twenty minutes later, DeAngela came to help out with decorating 21 buckets for the 21 tables. The buckets are going to hold the silverware, which will be wrapped in napkins, so naturally they have to be decorated and nice and beachy. I have always felt that homemade decorations look much better than store-bought ones, especially when it comes to weddings. It creates more of a personal connection to the wedding, and even though it makes for a whole lot more time and effort spent on them, they are always worth making. I must say, I am pleased with the work that Irina, my mom, Dee, and I accomplished today. Tomorrow, with the help of Eden, we will be able to finish the buckets. We spent about two hours today working on them and are only completely finished with some components of the buckets, but with our group of three we will be able to finish them in probably another two hours, not too bad in my book.

After my mom and Irina finished their part of the buckets, I decided it was time for Dee and I to stop with ours, especially because my back was starting to hurt and I was already getting tired (again, thank you radiation). I vacated to the couch to get some rest for my back, as well as some rest in general. At this point, my dad came over so we could watch some Food Network, a show that we share together. Irina left so that she could make dinner, although we offered for her to stay and eat some enchiladas that Carl (my mom’s boyfriend) brought over from a friend. So it was my dad, mom, Mark (my brother), Dee, and I eating enchiladas and watching Iron Chef America. At 8, when the show was over, I politely texted Dee and asked her if I could just have some family time, and she obliged. Then my dad, Mark, and I watched a new Discovery Channel show titled Naked and Afraid. It was really weird; people have to survive in their birthday suits for three weeks off of the land, whether it is Costa Rica or in Africa. It is a new concept of the people not wearing any clothes whatsoever, I would need a pair of shoes, underwear, and a sports bra at the least in order to try to participate in that show. Also, the people lose about 25 lbs each, which is more than I can afford to lose. I am watching my second episode of it right now, and I have to say each person on it could lose a little bit of weight (although in a healthy way) and look and feel much better. However, losing it in just three weeks, it was a little scary. Oh, and I am the only one watching this episode about two people surviving on the African Serengeti, and I have to say it is much easier to write when I am by myself, all of my ideas just flow when I am alone. So the first part of my writing started at 8 when I was not alone because I wanted to actually write a blog today instead of falling asleep and leaving people possibly worried that something has happened to me, other than just being incredibly tired.

Well, now I am going to go to end this blog, tomorrow will be filled with more decorating and possibly me buying more sequins and beads and whatnot for the wedding, as well as two glass containers to disperse tropical fruit juice for the wedding, just to feed to the beach theme.

Weenie Roast with Honored Guest

Posted by swimchicklauren

I took that title directly from an event that some of my swimmer friends made to kind of celebrate me. I was (and still am) so feeling loved, and that my friends really care about me and would take the time out of their days to plan an event. By the way, it was incredibly fun. Mark, my brother, was originally supposed to come with Dee and I, but he decided at the last minute that “he does not like hot dogs”, “those aren’t my kind of things” and that I was taking advantage of him by making him drive me there. Um, no, I just wanted to bring my brother along with me to have fun (and DeAngela is more than capable of driving) and make him get out of the house a little bit and spend time with people he also knows. That, and I am well aware that I have a timeline and I would like to spend as much time with friends and family as I can, and he is no exception. Somehow I do not think this is a subject that he grasps. I love him and at least want to share some moments with him before I pass (which is hopefully in quite a while).

Anyways, Dee and I drove up to Concord, which is about 1 1/2 hours away from where I live in Elk Grove. We were fashionably late to the event, but that was ok because not everyone was there already anyways. In total, the people who were there were the following: Courtney, Colette, Peachy, Guy, Emily, Steven, Tyler (aka Smurf), Eduardo, Charlie (aka Cheese, but only for an hour), and Mariah (who had literally just got back from Mexico). We all stayed in the house for a while, sipping on some water, soda, and some margarita mix with water (made by Guy and Emily’s mother) and I have to say, it was quite refreshing. Tyler was chilling in his speedo the entire time with his cheeks popping out, which is not unusual for swimmers so it did not take anyone off of their guard. We munched on some chips and cheeze nips (I am not sure how exactly to spell those to be honest, and I am too lazy to look them up this late) and then eventually got to our weenies. Now, these were no ordinary hot dogs. These were probably about a foot long each, and we had the choice to eat Polish dogs or all beef hot dogs. Knowing that my throat and esophagus are not extremely happy with me due to radiation, I went with the all beef hot dog with ketchup and mustard. Oh, and our buns were much too small for the hot dogs, so we had quite a few dirty jokes about that flying around.

After everyone had eaten their hot dogs and had their tummies all content and bloated, we decided to go for a swim. Dee and I had not brought swimsuits, so we had to borrow from Emily’s collection and we each found pieces that worked for us both. Oh, and I should mention, that Guy and Emily’s house is HUGE! I have no clue how many rooms there are, but there are nine people living comfortably in the house (including four foreign exchanged students). I think the house was at least three stories high, but I am not sure. They have a nice sized pool in their backyard, which seemed to be more of a vineyard. When it came to jumping in the pool, Courtney told us that you could jump off of a balcony to land in the pool. Being the adrenaline junkie that I am, I followed her, Tyler, and Colette to Guy’s room where the balcony was. It was a little scary at first, as jumping from a decently high spot normally is, so we all fought over who was going to jump first. Tyler said he was going to jump first for me, but then Colette did not hear this and decided that she was going to jump in first. Then Tyler, then I jumped, then Courtney. It was a whole lot of fun, if I do say so myself (DeAngela later confided in me that she was scared when I jumped off of the balcony as I had just gotten out of the hospital). The pool was nice and warm so it was comfortable. I certainly got a nice workout from all of the water that I was treading to stay afloat. We took quite a few underwater pictures with one of those new phones that is waterproof, but since it was dark by the time we took the pictures, the flash ruined the pictures and most did not turn out the way that underwater pictures are meant to look like. After we were getting a little cold, everyone got out of the water and made a beeline towards a firepit- which happened to have a fire roaring. That felt so nice against my moist, wet skin and it was able to dry me off pretty darn fast. We sat around the fire pit in our swimsuits taking pictures to make some memories last a bit longer. S’mores were made and eaten, and I did not partake in this because of the feeling of always having a heartburn that increases whenever I eat, so I was not going to aggravate my throat and esophagus any more than it already was. We talked and shared stories, and everyone wanted to know how I met my fiance, to which I told them that we had met through high school wrestling, when he transferred to my school and joined the team I was on. After a while, Tyler and Steven left because they knew they had work in the morning and did not want to feel miserable. We all stayed for about another hour or so before Colette decided to leave, which prompted me to leave as well, because it was already pretty late and I did not want DeAngela to be too tired to drive back (although Emily did offer to let us sleep there, I really wanted to sleep in my own bed). As we were all saying goodbye, Eduardo and Emily handed me a bag that had a Starbucks bottle in it as well as some instant lime refreshers, because it has been so hot, according to Eduardo. Mariah also handed me an envelope. I opened it once I got home and it was a very sweet, handwritten letter and a really cute necklace that she had gotten in Mexico.

Dee and I had to use directions to get home, so we used our trusty iPhones to get us home. Um, it took us the back, back way to get home and it was a little scary. We had to go through the Sacramento River roads and such, which are narrow, and were hardly on any freeways the whole time. Luckily, we got home safe and sound.

I am pretty darn tired, and so is my kitty, so I am going to go to bed now. Oh, and if you did not notice, you can get to my blog by going to thenotdyinggirl.com which in my opinion is so much easier, so spread it around if you can! I want to reach out to as many people as possible!

Sincerely,

Lauren

Home Sweet Home, At Last!

Posted by swimchicklauren

After spending two weeks and one day in the hospital, I was finally set free. This was the longest time I have ever spent in a hospital, comparable to about 7 or 8 days spent during Thanksgiving of 2011. It was weird being in the hospital (which we sometimes call a hotel because of how long we stay in it and how we have fantastic room service of ice cream and otter pops given at request, as well as any other leftover goodies that are in the kitchen) for so long when I was not feeling super sick. The first week or so I was incredibly sick and had to be on oxygen and on a PCA machine (basically giving me a certain amount of strong pain killers every hour, which also had an on demand push button which delivered more of the medicine every ten minutes, if needed). After a while, I was weening off of the oxygen during the day and still had it during the night because my oxygen levels would drop just low enough to have the oxygen monitor go crazy and make tons of noise. Then, after about two days of being off of the oxygen during the day, I was able to go without it during the night without problem. That was one thing that I was incredibly proud of, because I had no intentions of walking down the aisle carting an oxygen tank behind me, mind you, I would have bedazzled the shit out of it if I were to have to need the extra air. I was able to stop using the PCA on demand button pretty quickly as my pain got under control with other pills, and soon after that they stopped giving me out the pain medicine (I think it was called delotted) at an hourly rate and just kept it to the push button, for a just in case I were to feel a lot of pain and I would be able to get a quick release from the pain. About two days before I got out of the hospital, we were able to take off my PCA pump entirely, which made it easier to be escorted to radiation by ambulance. I was incredibly happy by the amount of progress that I was making and was so ready to get out. And today, I finally did.

I was able to take my first actual shower in over two weeks in the hospital, and boy, did it feel nice! I loved the feeling of actually getting my whole body drenched with water instead of being washed down with these stupid clothes, which resembled ones that you wipe a baby’s butt with- except that they were warm. I did not take as long of a shower as I will do tomorrow, because I had to get some paperwork given to me and send DeAngela off to get my discharge medication. I was surprised with how quickly they were able to discharge me this time, because all of the other times I had to wait around and be impatient to get the discharge papers and to see the doctor. I actually ended up seeing two of my doctors, Dr. Jolly and Dr. Adams. Dr. Adams was the main doctor who took care of me during that week and I am assuming that Dr. Jolly was there to take over for the next week. I was a little disappointed that Dr. Adams, a quiet, soft spoken man would not be able to attend my wedding, because he really opened up to me and talked quite a lot with me in the hospital, which was really nice. Dr. Jolly, however, said that he would be able to attend my wedding and that made me very happy! Yeah, I know I see my doctors, nurses, and radiologists on a regular occasion, but that does not mean that I dread seeing them! They made my life while in the hospital or in the clinic or in radiation much better, and I appreciate that completely for being as nice and as real to me as they could. Oh, and most of them have very nice senses of humor too. I can always appreciate a good laugh, or even a little giggle.

As I was leaving, I asked one of my nurses to add me on Facebook so I could invite her to my wedding, as well as a few other nurses who I had spent a lot of time with, whether it was this year or two years ago, I will always remember who took good care of me. She complied and I am now about to invite the nurses to my wedding as well.

In the clinic, Tamara and Shelly made a flyer for my wedding, inviting only people who knew me, and added that I wish to be the only one wearing a white dress and also the only one in a floor-length dress. I thought this was really sweet, because I love my clinic nurses as well, and have spent a lot of time with them. I wrote down the details to the wedding and gave them to my radiologist Denise and asked her to spread it around for the whole radiology team so that they knew that they were invited and so they would have the information to be able to get to the wedding.

I also gave my blog information out to all of the nurses, and they have it in their break office so that they will have access to reading it- and hopefully spreading it around because I want to touch as many people as I possibly can. I also wrote down the address to my blog and gave it to the radiology team so that they could read what I write about as well, and sort of get an idea of what an impact they make on me.

Ok, so back to me getting out of the hospital, I can get a little off topic when I find something I feel a lot of passion about and just have the urge to write about it. So Dee and I took a wagon downstairs with all of my stuff that was leftover from my mom and dad taking trips home with certain items so I was not left with a room full of flowers and other such things to have to lug to the car. I have to say, after being mostly bedridden for 15 days, my legs are still not used to walking. It feels a little funky, like I have to learn how to walk again. I am not bad at walking, maybe a little clumsy, but I have not fallen, despite having a wristband that reads “FALL RISK” in all capitals. I am so glad for the exercise though, after laying down and sitting for over two weeks, it was nice to walk out to the car, not only once, but twice to return the wagon. And turns out that I had forgotten to take a PCA pump home. This confused me, because I am not attached to anything, but I had signed for it so technically it is mine. So I guess it is a just in case thing, as well as the oxygen tubes that I have in my garage.

Dee drove me to radiation (finally not having to be escorted by ambulance, I felt so free) and all of the radiologists were so excited to see me and were happy that I was done with my radiation after today, not that they were happy to get rid of me or anything. I gave hugs to all of my radiologists, including Dan, Ben, Denise, and some other lady whom I had never seen before. Geoff wasn’t there so I was a little sad that I unable to say goodbye to him. But I will be seeing most of the radiologists at the wedding, and I am so happy that they will see me all dressed up in all white.

After radiation, we stopped by Tapioca Express, a favorite food place of mine because I was incredibly hungry. Dee dropped me off at home, as well as helped me unpack the car, and left because I told her I wanted some alone time, which I believe is understandable because I never really had any true alone time in the hospital, and I was in dire need of it. Oh, and I wanted to spend my alone time with my kitty Panda, but I don’t really think that counts against my alone time. I found Panda upstairs under my mom’s bed and he immediately came out to come see me- I knew he missed me. We ended up chilling downstairs while I attempted to eat my Tapioca Express food- chicken bites, fried zucchini, and curly fries, but I either have really, really bad heartburn or something with the radiation is making my throat hurt whenever I swallow something. I am leaning towards the damage of radiation, as I was told it could be a side effect. So I just ate my french fries and part of my boba drink (large mocha snowbubble with no tapioca to be precise) and decided that I could not put my throat through any more suffering for the moment. I picked up Panda and took about a three hour nap with him, until I had to wake up and go to the bathroom, in which he promptly took off to go play while I went back to bed alone for another 4-5 hours. Yeah, I was incredibly tired. You just do not get the same amount of sleep in the hospital as you do at home, because in the hospital you have to be monitored every four hours, which meant a blood pressure test, oxygen rate test, and a taking of my temperature. Not to mention waking up to take certain meds to be sure that all my pain would be covered. Then having breakfast come in at 8 in the morning, and again about half an hour later to pick up the menu and your choices of food for the next day. Yeah, not the same as being able to sleep in for as long as I wish and not getting woken up several times at night by a flashlight or a noisy nurse (luckily I did not have too many of them).

I woke up at around 8pm tonight and was in a great amount of pain because I was off my schedule for pain pills. So we quickly corrected that, and within thirty minutes I was feeling much better. I also had some late night visitors, who came at around 9. They were my old buddies from high school, who, while we might have lost touch with after graduation, we never had a falling out, so I was happy to have them take the time to visit me. Keith, one of my friends from kindergarten and from wrestling team, Alex, one of my friends who I met through wrestling my sophomore year, and Michael, who I met in 8th grade through wrestling and hung out with through mutual friends, all came over to see me. I was expecting (and at first demanded) a short visit, but I was feeling pretty darn good after my pain meds kicked in, that we talked for about two hours. It was so nice catching up with the good people who I had hung out with in high school, particularly my senior year. We joked around a lot just like old times, played with Instagram and looked at people who were thirsty for likes (aka attention from the opposite sex) and just talked about what we had done with our year. We also talked about different experiences that we had in college, as well as discussing who we all hang out with, where each other goes to college, and just reminiscing about the old days- not that any of us want to go back to high school. We are all so thankful to be in college and to have moved on from that point in life, and to being more mature than we were back in the days of high school. I truly relished their visit, not to mention I was given a funny card from them and the movie Sinister, and although I have already seen it, it is a scary movie that I will end up watching again, so thanks guys! They ended up leaving at 11 when Michael realized that he had to feed his dogs. Whoops!

When I first got home, I was also greeted with a lot of cards. Cards that congratulated myself and Egor on getting married. These cards were from people who I did not know, but all I do know is that they had to explain who they were on my mother’s side of the family. I don’t believe that I had met any of them, but it was incredibly sweet of them to reach out to me even though they do not know me either. Some of the cards were so cute! Although most of the messages that were left were of them explaining how they are related to me, they were still thoughtful. I also got a gift from my mom’s cousin (I think) Laura, whom I am friends with on Facebook. She gave me two hand-stitched hats because she thought I was going to lose my hair with this cancer- thank goodness that it hasn’t, but it was so nice of her to think of that. One is completely silly but so creative and cool, it has a dolphin in it and has some of the prettiest blues and greens in it. So since I will be in no need of these, I am going to donate them to the clinic where someone can actually enjoy the use of them and to cover their little bald heads. I think that is the best place for them.

So now my house is littered with balloons and flowers and blankets given to me, but I am just so glad to be home, and looking at all of these things make me really realize how loved I am, it really touches my heart.

I am unsure if I will be able to write another blog tomorrow night (if so it will probably be pretty late) as my college swim team has organized a weenie roast with a special guest (meaning me) so I have to make an appearance, not that you would have to give me any reason to go, because I love my swim team and I am excited to see them again! I will not be driving because I will be tired, so Dee will drive Mark (my brother) and I up there and we will all hang out with my swim team- they are very welcoming and generous people, so I know they will love DeAngela.

So goodnight, it is pretty late and I could use some more sleep with my kitty Panda! And I am so glad to be home at last!

The Not-Dying Girl

My thoughts, feelings, and overall journey through my second diagnosis of cancer.

Author: swimchicklauren

My First Summer Vacation! ( unless you count my weekly stays at the hospital)

As Summer is Winding Down…

Back to Reality

My Big Fat Wedding

My Day of Pampering!

My Emotional Rollercoaster!

Decoration-Making Party!

Getting Ready for the Wedding- My Turn for Physical Work!

Weenie Roast with Honored Guest

Home Sweet Home, At Last!